


Shouyou's Last Letter

by WeDontTalkAboutThisAccount



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: But mostly angst, Cancer, Fluff and Angst, Hospitals, I apologise for everything before that, I don't think it'll turn into KageHina relationship, Karasuno really love Hinata leT HIM LIVE, Leukemia, M/M, Nekoma, Oh God please stick around untilchapter 4, Unprompted, all the Karasuno kids, bc fuck original characters, chemothreapy, friends being there, im just a really bad person, it's so horrendously badly written, so I used the & instead of /, yes I made Kou and Rei the doctors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 07:51:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6696169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeDontTalkAboutThisAccount/pseuds/WeDontTalkAboutThisAccount
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes life just wants to say "Fuck you" to the best people, in the worst ways.</p><p>{Let's clear some things up before you read.</p><p>-Currently on hiatus, but can’t promise a return to regular updates and my mental health is currently dog shit so don’t expect good writing but yeah I’m working on it</p><p>-This was under the name "And I'll Fight With You" but my mind wanted to fuck shit up and changed it.}</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OK, I know almost nothing about leukemia other than a quick google search, so I'll highly appreciate if you hit up my tumblr (tsaltyshimakei) if I get anything wrong or if you know any information that may help this fic be as accurate as possible! 
> 
> Leave a kudos if you power through my four horrendously written first chapters~! 
> 
> Much appreciated, have a nice day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I merged the first and the second chapter because I hated the first chapter and thought merging it with an equally shit chapter would make it better so now it's one, huge, shit, chapter.

In all honestly, the day couldn’t be clearer. The sun had that beautiful, orange glow that Kageyama could watch forever, and with it’s radiance bouncing of every surface it reached, Kageyama felt warm, and comforted. His memories of warmth and comfort were shuffled, muddled. The sun, as bright as it was, he found it could never sort his comfortable memories, could never bring them back to life. While the sun could never replace them, or bring them back to him, he always thought he liked it. He supposed he loved this time of day best, it reminded him of all those sticking with him, staying by his side. It made him think of Hinata, with its beautiful glow of orange and the warmth from the setting sun, it was picture perfect, and so kind of reminded him of Hinata, in an odd sort of way.

But Kageyama had a small problem with telling him that. He had a knack for keeping his feelings bottled up, he always had, well, not always, if he was being honest with himself. He knew his self-destructive habits he had picked up would one day turn him upside down but now wasn't the time to deal with them, he had plenty of time to think and heal later.

But Hinata did, sadly, feel upside down. His head was swimming, it had been since yesterday, plagued with thoughts that darkened the edges of his mind and pulled his head down to look at the floor, his feet, anywhere but up. His healing would take a lot longer, he wasn't Kageyama.

Tell him. Don’t tell him. Tell him. Don’t tell him. He repeated it like a mantra, eyes down, just staring at his feet as he walked with his best friend. It was his problem, why share it? Silently, they walked together, the shuffling of feet and occasional deep inhale of the early spring air filling their quiet as they made their way to the hill path they always stopped at (tradition, they supposed) to eat whatever buns they had bought from the shop after practice.

The quiet bore upon them, out of place in Hinata's presence. Kageyama found his eyes drifting to his best friend's small, shuffling form next to him, uncharacteristically silent.

“Oi. Dumbass.” He turned on his heel at the top of the hill, facing Hinata head-on, unintentionally staring him down. “Why are you so quiet? It’s freaking me out, are you sure you’re still not ill?” Seeing him like this, seemingly running on empty, it really put a damper on the team and their morale.

Hinata cast his eyes further down, staring at the bugs that scampered and scurried so ignorant and unaware next to his feet. He should tell him. No, he shouldn't tell him, it's not his problem. 

“Hey, earth to Hinata. Answer me. I asked you a question, aren't you gonna answer?.” Kageyama's tone sounded clipped and impatient. Not the tone he was going for, but the damage was done. He saw Hinata's shoulders quiver, and heard his breath quietly hitch, was he- was he crying? "Hey, Hinata- Don't, don't cry." Kageyama heard his own voice rise at the end of his sentence, he heard it lilt as if he was asking a question more than anything, how stupid. "Don't cry, tell me- tell me what's going on." Hearing the stiffness in his voice made him cringe, but he didn't seem to care. It wasn't fare that Hinata was crying, he didn't need to, he was happiness incarnate, after all. 

“Kageyama. Stop- Don't worry about me.”His voice was steady, steadier than Kageyama would have thought. In his experiences, voices would rise and fall with hitched breaths and sobs, but of course Hinata would surprise him. He continued, the minimal waver in his tone barely noticeable as he fuiously stared at the beatles that staggered over pebbles and ants. “Umm, also, I just think that, er, you should, um, probably know I wasn’t at... at home yesterday, o-or the day before that. I was, well, well I was actua-” He stuttered, his fear and quiets tears creeping up on his voice, curling around his throat and slowly tightening. 

Kageyama watched as Hinata's shoulders rose and fell with his hitched and laboured breathing. "You were actually where? Finish your sentence."

"I was- er, I was at the hospital." Hinata paused, he wasn't sure why, maybe to let Kageyama think? No, to let himself think? To let himself truly comprehend what he was about to tell his best friend? Maybe, he didn't know.

"And? Over what? We can't play at our best if you're still ill y'know." Of course, volleyball.

"I- um, I just had a fever, my mum- she said it had been high for- for some time, apparently." Another pause. Oh God, this was real, wasn't it. "So, I was gonna go- to the hospital- and just as we were leaving, when I was going downstairs, I got dizzy- really dizzy." One more pause. One more moment to see the harsh truth. "I- blacked out. I fainted as I was going downstairs and fell." His mind stopped, the confidence and determination evapourating into thin air as he finally looked up to look Kageyama in the eyes, his unusually caring eyes. Every nerve in his body told him to turn around and run. To grab his bike by the handles and roll away down the hill, leaving Kageyama behind, in the darkness of the glowing sun as it fluttered away beyond the horizon. 

"When I came to, my mum was freaking out- telling me to get into the car and I thought she was just overreacting, like she normally does." Hinata choked out the words as he began to let his tears fall faster. "But when we got there, they took a load of blood samples and other weird medical stuff, and when- when they came back-" Hinata lost it. He started to bawl his eyes out, but through his choked breaths, he tried to continue.

"-and when they came back… when they… he said that I… had showed early sy-symptoms of Acute… something… leukemia.” Falling to the floor, he was reduced to nothing but a ball of tears and incoherent sentences. He cried at himself, his weakness, the cancer that circulated within him, at everything and anything.

The very sight of Hinata at his feet, letting tears fall freely as they flooded his face

It felt like the boys world had just been torn through my a typhoon or an earthquake, detaching him from all his senses, preventing him from truly registering his friends wails of despair, or actually seeing him hunched over and watching as his tears fell to floor beneath them. Leukemia. No. This was cancer, this was happening again. This kills people, Kageyama knew that first hand. This ruins lives, this ruined Kageyama's life. This had taken happiness from Kageyama before. Warm smiles and cheery greetings struck his mind like flashing bolts of lightning, illuminating her face as clear images flew past him. Her face smiled so uncaringly as clear as day for the first time in years.

He didn't want to sun to set again, he didn't want it to rain again.

He too fell to his knees, pulling Hinata in for a consoling hug, letting feint tears drip as realisation set in. This was no time to let history repeat itself. He promised that to her years ago, that he wouldn't let the sun set ever again on her. 

~~

The next day Kageyama came up to Hinata during their lunch break, ready to talk and hopefully get some more information other than babbled cries out of him to him. 

“Here.” Kageyama haphazardly threw a carton of strawberry milk at Hinata, who, in turn barely managed to keep it from falling to the floor.

“Milk?" He questioned Keageyama's choice of beverage, a quizzical look on his face before his expression melted into content grin. Looking back up at Kageyama, he smiled, "Aren’t you supposed to be drinking this angrily and looking upset with everyone?” The ginger smiled at him, with an impish sparkle in his eye.

“Ha. Ha.” His voice deadpan and sarcastic, the taller boy pulled another carton from his bag and started to drink. “I looked up leukemia when I got home last night and it said it had something to do with bones so I got you milk because they say milk helps to make healthy bones and stuff.” Kageyama was avoiding eye contact, as now he knew that Hinata now faced the huge possibility of dying very soon and if he stared at him for too long, he might end up embarrassing himself and confessing his little crush to Hinata.

“Umm… Kageyama? The type of leukemia I have is to do with the blood, not the bones. But, hey, thanks for the milk I guess.” He had just started to drink when Kageyama shot up almost yelling.

“THERE ARE MORE TYPES OF LEUKEMIA??”

Hinata spat out his milk laughing at the terrified face of his best friend, almost feeling the fear of having to learn more about the human body and how it worked. Hinata knew just how much Kageyama hated all the sciences, especially biology.

“Yeah, I think there are four in total, if I remember correctly. It was kind of a blur, you know, when they said it.” He was drinking his milk again, as if the whole discussion of his unlikely cancer was just as normal as their fighting over the smallest of things. Finishing a long drawn out sip, he continued. “Acute lymphoblastic leukemia, which is the one I have so that’s the only reason I remembered its name and that has something to do with white blood cells. I think its something like there’s too many, but none of them do their actual jobs properly.” Looking up he saw the horror struck face of his best friend, as if that was the first time he had ever heard a human being talk. “What’s wrong Kageyama? Cat got you tong-“

“WHEN DID YOU LEARN HOW TO USE BIG WORDS?!”

“WHEN I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH THE BIG WORDS, DUMBASS.”

They were both standing, staring into each other’s eyes, each with looks that could kill. They stood there for a while, each just preparing to fight, but not moving an inch. It sadly wasn’t the first time they had done this, preparing to fight, but neither actually bothering to make a move. It was times like this they were grateful of their saving grace, Yachi, who usually came along and broke them up before they starved to death from glaring at each other for hours on end.

“I thought I heard you two!”

“Yachi!!” Hinata was already jumping away from Kageyama to greet their manager, who by now was used to Hinata’s boundless energy, and welcomed him with open arms into a hug.

She had no idea about Hinata, did she.

“Hello, Hinata.” Her voice was that you would expect a mother to use when her child had gone on a sugar high rampage and really needed to be calmed. “Ready for practice today? Daichi thought of a new game strategy when you were away, and told me to tell you that you need to talk to him at practice, and speaking of which, I might be little late today, I need to work on my graphic design project.” Her tone changed, it sounded concerned, like when Suga asks if one of the team is okay when they fall after trying to receive, or going for a near impossible spike. It sounded motherly. She cocked her head, and placed her hand on Hinata’s forehead before asking, “Are you sure you’re okay? You look pale.”

“Um, actually, Hi-” Kageyama had began to speak but was instantly cut off by Hinata’s loud, interrupting voice.

“I’m fine! I just couldn’t sleep last night, I was too excited to get back on the court, y’know?” He interrupted Kageyama with a quick step on his toe and a glare out of the corner of his eye that seemed to yell the sentence “Don’t you fucking dare”.

“Um okay then, I’ll see you after school then. Enjoy you lunch, and make sure you eat all of it, Hinata, you’ll need the energy if you didn’t sleep much last night!” She turned on her heel and let the end of her sentence trill a little, skipping away to a couple of girls who seemed to be waiting for her at the end of the corridor, cooing and giggling as she approached them.

The boys shared a look as soon as Yachi was out of sight, Kageyama more confused than anything, with Hinata looking at him like he was trying to burn into his soul. “Hi-Hinata?”

“Why would you do that? I’ll tell people on my own terms. I’ll decide if I should worry them. This is my decision and you can’t stop me from retaining this information if I decide to.” His eyes resembled fire at this point, and Kageyama was pretty sure he’d never looked more determined, even in their matches against their strongest opponents.

“I just thought that Yach-” He was stumbling, his brain not quite finding the words he needed, and as Hinata’s eyes burned even more into him, he suddenly felt very uncomfortable. He never thought he would be on the receiving end of the gingers furious stare.

“No. Kageyama, you are in no place to tell people about my physical condition, got that?”

“Yeah, sure.”

********

“Hinata! You’re back again!!” Suga’s voice echoed through the almost empty gym as he opened the door to find the ginger practicing his serves with Kageyama yelling at him, as he usually did. At this point, the team had come to the unanimous agreement that this was the only way the two could communicate.

“Suga!!” He broke away from Kageyama’s intense glare and bounded over towards vice captain with a huge smile on his face. “Yachi says the team have a new strategy and I need to see them?” His eyes were wide, expecting as he looked down at Suga’s bag, waiting to see what the captain had come up with to help them win.

“Ah, sorry Hinata, Daichi has them in his bag, he said he’ll bring them in once he’s done changing. Um, do you guys know where everyone is? Usually mostly everyone’s here by now, I mean, it is almost quarter to four.” He looked down at his watch when a familiar second year walked in with a disheartened sigh.

“Tanaka and Nishinoya will be late today. They landed themselves a detention with the head master after causing a ruckus in the hallway.” Ennoshita closed the door, with the thoroughly disappointed face he always wore around the duo, before he looked at Suga with a different expression.

Hinata thought it resembled that of terror.

“Who’s gonna tell coach? Actually, w-who’s gonna tell Daichi?”

It was as if the gym had been struck by lightning. In an instant Hinata recalled the memory of being late a couple of weeks before, and the fear that had pierced his heart upon looking directly into their captain’s eyes.

“DIBS NOT ME!”

“Hinata, you can’t just yell like that!”

“Well, maybe you should’ve yelled it before me then, Suga!!”

It was a matter of time before Suga gave up on these children.

“Geez, what the actual hell are you all yelling about? Where is everyone?” Daichi walked in, captain and while none of the team had actually discussed it, dad of the Karasuno volleyball club. “It’s what, almost four? You’d expect most of us here by now, especially the loud mouths.”

“Aah, Daichi, you see, Tanaka and Nishinoya have kinda…” Suga stepped up as his teammates held their breath, watching, waiting for Daichi’s reaction. “Well, ended up in a detention with the principle.”

Not a sound could be heard in the gym.

“Well.”

A sharp intake of breath from the players who were present.

“Who’s surprised by that. I’ll do something about them when they get here, how long is the detention? An hour? Half an hour?”

Ennoshita lifted his head out of confusion. This was not what any of them had expected. “I-it’s twenty minutes. So… you’re not going to freak out?”

“Hm? Why would I do that?”

“Because you yelled at me and Kageyama ‘til kingdom come when we where late last time!!”

Silence once again fell upon the gym. “Hinata…?” Suga spoke up as Tsukishima and Yamaguchi walked through the doors and Yamaguchi joined the small crowd looking over the ginger, with the blonde heading straight to the cart with the volleyballs to start practicing by himself, the way he liked it. “When did you learn the phrase ‘til kingdom come’?”

The conversation piqued Tsukishimas curiosity and he walked over to the team “What? Hinata’s learning Japanese comprehension? Does that mean I don’t have to tutor his hopeless ass anymore?”

Yamaguchi looked up and playfully slapped the taller boy, giggling his name as he did so.

Almost the entire team looked at them in confusion. It was so clear, but not quite clear enough.

“Curiouser and curiouser…”

“HINATA! There it is again! You just quoted that old English book you study in first year! It’s called, um, called…” Suga, although conceived to be smartest of the third years, he truly was terrible at English literature, and almost always relied on people like Asahi to help him with the impossible homework their teachers liked to set. “It’s, uh-”

“Alice In Wonderland, Suga. Why are you even talking about English literature, it’s five to four, shouldn’t we all be practicing?”

Their ace, the final member of the team, opened the steel doors and walked in, his face riddled with puzzlement at the sight of the group of players crowding the ginger.

“Hinata quoted it! He’s paying attention in class!”

“Alice In Wonderworld isn’t the only new thing he’s learnt.”

Kageyama’s voice was cold, and so were his eyes, staring at Hinata, who knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Is that true?!”

“Kageyama, you don’t have to be so damn salty about it!"

The two stared at each other with looks that could kill, as they had done earlier that day during the lunch break, just waiting for someone to stop them.

“Alright you two, that’s enough, we do have to do some work before heading to the Tokyo training camp in about a month, no, it’s even closer now, two, three weeks?” Daichi’s bold voice broke the duo up, attracting all attention to him before he began to talk about the new training regiment the coach had given him. “… And that about sums it up. Practice by yourselves for fifteen minutes, and Hinata come with me, I’ll explain the strategy to you seeing you weren’t here yesterday.”

The two walked to a corner of the gym and the captain pulled a sheet from his pocket and unfolded it, showing it to Hinata. They talked about it for a while, Daichi answering the questions the ginger had and ending his talk with a question of his own.

“Hinata, are you sure you’re okay? You still look kind of pale and I think Kageyama seems angrier at you than usual.”

“I’m fine!” His smile was huge, and he held the volleyball head, as he always did when he wasn’t playing with it. “Kageyama probably just hasn’t had his milk today and is sulking like the big baby he is!”

“I’m not deaf.”

“Kageyama! Do you want to practice with Hinata? Your quick will need improving if we plan to take it to Tokyo.”

“But you said by to practice by ourselves…”

“I know, but answer me this, do you two really think practicing by yourselves will improve any aspect of your playing?”

The two shared a look, having almost an entire conversation before they looked at the floor and both mumbled a “no” in unison. Daichi patted the duo on the shoulders before walking away towards the others practicing their serves and receives over the net set up in the middle of the gym. Just as their captain was out of earshot, the raven haired first year grabbed his classmate and pulled him to yet another corner of the sports hall and sent him an unexpected toss. The ginger hit it without problem and was only caught off guard when he spoke, looking at the ball Hinata had spiked almost all the way across the room.

“You’re gonna need to tell them, y’know.” His voice was deadpan, as if what he just said was of no importance. It was like when Hinata had explained the illness he had earlier, as if there were more important things to be worrying about. “They’ll find out one way or another.” He was looking at Hinata now, who was over by the ball cart looking at the volleyball he had just picked up with a disheartened frown upon his face.

“I know. But, I just don’t want to worry them.” He lifted his gaze to the team, who had swapped roles, those who were serving before now receiving. Hinata had no idea what any of them could be thinking about, but he was sure it was better than what was riddling his mind. “The doctor said that because I was still young there’s a medium high chance of survival with chemotherapy, so I just feel that if I don’t tell them and survive, then I don't have to scare any of them.”

“Well, you better survive.”

“NO SLACKING, YOU TWO!”

“YES COACH UKAI.”

*

Practice flew past that day, and it was evening before anyone knew it, and the coach had called the team around to cool down. The sat in a circle, stretching, all discussing very mundane topics, such as what the school had served for lunch, or the new book they were studying in Japanese Literature class. Maybe it really was best if Hinata never told them, they seemed so content this way.

“Okay you lot, go home and eat a proper meal, build up those muscles in time for the Tokyo trip, got that?”

The team chanted a quick “Yes sir!” before all standing up and collecting their water bottles and other items. They filtered into the small clubroom, all collecting their bags and schoolwork prior to heading out. Hinata picked up his bag just after Kageyama had finished neatly packing his jersey and shorts into his sports bag and hoisting onto his shoulder. They left together, waving to Daichi and Suga, who were always the last to leave for some reason.

“Do you ever wonder why they always leave last?”

“What?”

Hinata looked over his shoulder, to see Kageyama looking back at him in the eye.

“I mean, it’s not like they’re the only ones with a key, because I’ve seen Asahi-san unlock the clubroom when he got here a little early. And the room is always pretty neat whenever I leave, so I’m pretty sure they’re not cleaning, so I’m asking, what do you think they do after we’ve all left?”

What? What the hell was he on about? It was none of their business what they did after the team wa- oh.

“What the hell, Dumbass, it’s none of our business what they do. But thanks for the mental image.”

They continued to walk and as they reached the hill they sat down looking at the orange glow of the days end. The sun had that beautiful, orange glow that Kageyama could watch forever, and with it’s radiance bouncing of every surface it reached, Kageyama felt warm, and comforted. He loved this time of day best, it reminded him of Hinata, with its beautiful glow of orange and the warmth from the setting sun, it was picture perfect, just like they boy next to him.

Fuck. Not now.

They sat in silence, unsure of what to talk about; instead they just sat and ate and as Kageyama reached for his second bun, he began to speak. “You nee-”

“I’m not telling them, no matter how many times you tell me to.”

Hinata snapped his response back without even looking away from his meat bun. He wasn’t having this argument today, not again at least.

“But what if somet-”

“Then we’ll deal with it then. Listen to me very clearly, Kageyama. I’ll be fine. He said because I’m young I’ll probably survive so I don’t need to worry people who don’t need worrying. If I don’t tell them and nothing happens, they’ll be none the fucking wiser and if something does happen, then at least I don’t have to be around for their endless pity party.”

“I know that, but-”

“Kageyama! Just put yourself in my shoes right now, will you? Everyone who knows is always worrying about “what if it goes wrong?” and right now, do you know what “going wrong” is? It means what if I fucking die. What if science and medicine fail and my life ends.” By now, Hinata was once again crying on that hilltop, staring at his best friend, but now, it was different. He wasn’t crying out of sadness, but more of anger. An anger toward him, at the cancer, at those who just wouldn’t leave him alone. “Do I look like the person, no, AM I the person who likes to think about that? Do I? No. So I tell people when I want to. I decide if they should worry. I’ll fucking decide if something goes wrong. I’m not going to let anyone, or any thing make any decisions for me. Do you get that?”

He stood up, wiped his tears and began to walk away from Kageyama. He’d made his decision and his word was going to be the only opinion he needed during this illness.

“Got it.”

Kageyama whispered the words to himself as he watched Hinata break into a run down the opposite side of the hill. He loved Hinata’s determination, his fire, his, well, everything.

If only he could ever say that to his face.


	2. Chapter 2

“Alright team, gather up and come here.”

Daichi’s voice was quiet, but as the early morning air stood still and silent around them, it almost boomed. It had been around 5 weeks since Hinata had yelled at Kageyama on that hilltop and not once had Kageyama brought it up again, however tempted he was. Hinata was spending more weekends and other free time in hospital than he was out, and he grew paler everyday, only just convincing the team he was okay by showing them his radiant smile, and proving his health by practicing harder than ever. But this practicing was taking its toll and Kageyama could see it. He sure as hell wasn’t going to bring it up, but he could see it, clear as fucking day.

“Get in the van as fast as you can, now, we plan to get to Tokyo as quickly as possible!”

They packed their bags into the back of the van as fast as they could and climbed into the seats. As Hinata took his place in the back seat of the van, Kageyama plopped himself down next to him.

“Here.”

Hinata gave his friend a piece of folded paper looking him dead in the eye.

“Hand signals?”

“Symptoms. The doctor said that I needed a third party to look out for me, seeing as that “I pay no attention to my condition, and it’d be dangerous if I ignored these signs”.” His voice was quiet, barely just above a whisper, assuring only Kageyama heard. He was serious about not telling the rest of the team, so whenever it was a necessity to talk, his voice was always barely audible. It was true that Hinata was paying the minimal amount of attention to his illness, and maybe the doctor was right in thinking a third party’s opinion would be extremely important if they wanted to beat this illness.

“Okay, so these, signs, are what I have took for?”

“That’s literally what I just said.”

“Well okay, I was just trying to understand your shitting problem.” Kageyama tucked the list into his pocket, scowling for having to deal with this. It shouldn't have had to happen again, but here he was, looking out for another person. He sighed, at the very least, he was looking out for Hinata, sadly a lot unlike last time. 

“Alright everyone!! Strap yourselves in, yes Tanaka, Noya, I’m directly speaking to you, sit down!” Coach Ukai stood up at the front of the bus, ducking his head so he didn’t hit it on the low roof of the vehicle, as Takeda started up the engine. Tanaka and Noya begrudgingly sat themselves down and put on their seatbelts and watched the coach as he turned his head away from them once they completely settled, and continued. The bus was moving fully now, and as it drove along the bumpy roads near the school, the coach placed his hand onto the chair beside him to maintain balance. “It’ll take quite a while to get to Tokyo, about four hours, is that right? Yeah, so it’d be good if you all got some sleep now, and gained some energy as we’ll be straight into practice matches when we get there, which will be about midday.”

Ukai sat down and strapped himself into the seat behind the drivers seat, muttering to Takeda as he did so. 

“Ugh, I hate long car journeys, I can’t move around, it’s infuriating.” Hinata was already fidgeting in his seat, pulling at his seatbelt, trying to find a comfortable position to sit in.

“Then go to sleep, and you won’t notice, will you?”

“Fine, fine.”

They both knocked out about two and a half minutes later.

*

“Wakey, wakey sleepy heads!” 

Yachi stood over her two classmates, casting a shadow over them. She wore a smile and his eyes were glistening with mischief. It was completely unlike her, to have that look in her eyes, but then she held her phone up to the two and they heard a click sound. “Gotcha! I have four photos of you now. Three of you asleep, and one of you both waking up. You look like a Hollywood couple, how adorable.” She giggled as she turned her phone around and showed the photo to the two.

They were essentially cuddling. Crap. They scrambled away from each other, unceremoniously slapping one another as they did and resulted with Hinata falling arse first onto the floor of the bus. He stood up, rubbing his lower back as he did, before suddenly leaping onto Yachi yelling about deleting the photos. 

“It doesn’t matter if I delete them or not!” Yach yelled from underneath Hinata’s hold on her as she wriggled to try and free herself to no avail.

“Yes it does! If you delete them you have no evidence it happened!” He managed to pin the small girl down and made a grab for her unlocked phone before she yelled almost right next to his ear.

“Tsukishima already has eight pictures! That’s why it doesn’t matter if I delete them or not!” 

Both Hinata and Kageyama froze. Tsukishima already took eight photos? That was it. The end of their lives. He would never let go of something like this, which just was like Tsukishima. The boys made eye contact, Kageyama hunched over next to his seat, ducking his head because of the low roof of the bus, and looked Hinata dead in the eye, who was still sitting on top of Yachi’s stomach with his hands pinning her wrists to the floor. They stared for a while, the sense of actuality setting in the awkward situation. None said a word; the only sound that could be heard was their captain, walking through the open bus door.

“Hinata…”

“Uhhh…”

Hinata broke eye contact with Kageyama to turn around slowly to see Daichi standing at the end of the bus with a blank look on his face, all rational reasoning out of the window. “What… what exactly are you doi-”

“I CAN EXPLAIN, I SWEAR!!” Hinata jumped up, running to the captain with a look of terror in his eyes. “YACHI TOOK A STUPID PHOTO AND I WAS TRYING TO GET HER PHONE TO DELETE IT, I SWEAR ON MY LIFE IT WAS NOTHING ELSE, I JUST WANTED HER PHONE!” He was shaking the captain vigorously and frantically shaking his own head trying to get the captain to believe him. “IT WAS NOTHING LIKE WHAT IT MIGHT HAVE LOOKED LIKE!”

“OK! OK! STOP SHAKING ME, I BELIEVE YOU!” Daichi grabbed the boy who looked like he was about to explode and held him still. “Now stop freaking out! Let’s get to practice already! The bus has been unloaded; we’re just waiting for you, now come on. Out of the bus guys. Yachi, do you need any help?” He looked over Hinata’s shoulder to see the blonde girl doubled over, almost wheezing at what just happened. “Yachi?”

“I-I’m fine” She managed to gasp between breaths, slamming her fist on the floor of the vehicle. Her actions even made Kageyama to crack a smile as he extended his hand towards the girl.

“Yachi, come on, up you get.”

She took Kageyama’s hand wiping tears from the corners of her eyes as she stood up, giggling. 

“I’m, I’m sorry,” she gasped again, taking in as much air as her lungs would allow her, “it’s just, that must’ve looked pretty, pretty funny to you, captain!” She attempted to cover another giggle escaping with her hand, but failed as tears began to form in the corners of her eyes once more. 

“I guess it did, but that’s a story for another time, come on let’s go, the team are waiting.”

The four left the bus, jumping onto the sandy, dirt ground of the parking lot they were in. Daichi headed towards Suga and Asahi, who each had looks of confusion printed on their faces. It turned out they both had seen Hinata frantically shaking Daichi at the front of the bus. As he began to explain what happened, Hinata and Kageyama heard a voice that called out to them, “Hey, lovebirds!” They turned to face Tsukishima wearing a shit eating grin and holding his phone showing anyone who cared to look, which seemed to be everyone. 

“We’re not ‘lovebirds’, Tsukishima, Bakageyama is the one who did it, blame it on him!” Hinata yelled from where he was rooted, too embarrassed to actually go up to the small crowd. 

“Hey! It was your fault, you Dumbass! You take responsibility!” Hinata dodged as Kageyama swung his arm at him, spitting the words as he did so.

“Now, now, guys, just calm down, these stupid things happen, we’re here to practice, remember? So get it together, there are many people inside waiting for us to arrive. Oh never mind. They seem to have grown tired of waiting for us.” Suga sighed as he turned around to be greeted with the sight of the Nekoma volleyball team, waltzing their way into the parking lot. Their captain made his way over to Daichi, taking his had and shaking it firmly, “What took ya so long, eh?” 

“Hello to you too, Kuroo.” He shook Kuroo’s hand with just as much might, both smiling as they forced their handshake. “It doesn’t really matter that we’re what, ten minutes late? Yeah, because we’re here now, and ready to practice.” He finally pulled away, rubbing his knuckles, earning himself a winning grin from Kuroo, who shrugged in response.

“Well, that’s true, but is your team actually ready?” 

Daichi looked over his shoulder to see Hinata and Kageyama fighting once again and Tsukishima doing nothing but wheezing with laughter from the sidelines. Suga and Yachi were trying desperately to stop them but they were stuck fighting. Daichi sighed at the sorry sight of his team and turned back to Kuroo before saying in a very solemn tone, “I guess this is as ready as they’ll get.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, sorry for the bad updating, but I've got no stress until September, so updates look to be more often. If you have any questions I am 100% happy to answer them on my Tumblr: http://tsaltyshimakei.tumblr.com/


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM REALLY SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING I HAD NO IDEA HOW TO ACTUALLY GET THIS SCENE INTO WRITING AND I DIDN'T LIKE ANYTHING I DID SO DIDN'T UPDATE!!!!! I am really sorry and I'm not going to sugarcoat it- updates are going to be irregular and rare, sorry to disappoint, but I'm working on it.

"About as ready as they'll ever be." 

 

The Karasuno volleyball team was sprawled across the car park, the first years teasing each other, the boisterous second years chasing each other around every inch of the car park they could find, and the two other third years trying, and failing, to keep everyone under control. 

 

"Your team doesn't look as ready as they'll ever be." 

 

Kuroo snickered at the sight, although his team was in a state no better. Loud second years joining in on the game of what seemed to be tag with Tanaka and Noya and Lev and Inuoka were seemingly inching further from their captain to see what exactly Tsukishima was tormenting his teammates with. 

 

"Give it a minute."

 

As soon as the teams emerged onto the courts in the huge gym, the air surrounding Karasuno was completely different. They all wore looks of determination on a varying scale. Tanaka, Noya, Hinata and Kageyama expressed facial expressions that said that they were ready to take down an entire team single handedly. Their faces were all but wasted as the moment they all set foot in the gym, a heat that rivaled that of an oven hit them. 

 

"Jesus, how hot does Tokyo get?" 

 

Suga looked up at Kuroo who had appeared by their sides upon seeing their heat struck faces. 

 

"It'll cool down soon enough, it's just that its midday. But hey, seeing as you're all here, how about we play our first game? We've only got three days until you gotta leave." Kuroo walked away again, heading back towards his team. He seemed to rock back and forth between teams, popping up at unexpected times when something feigned his interest and retreating just as fast when the Nekoma team looked around and noticed his absence. All the players in the starting rotation got to their positions after a brief handshake and a few friendly exchanges and the game started. Nekoma, used to the Tokyo heat and hard training soon took the first set, but only buy a couple of points. 

 

"C'mon guys, I know we've lost the first set but we can do this, Karasuno, fight!" 

 

A chorus of "osu" followed Daichi's speech as they collected their bottles and took a quick break, discussing a strategy they'd practiced before at school before Suga looked up. 

 

"Hinata, are you alright? You look really pale, do you need to rest?" 

 

Sugar voice was full of concern, his eyebrows knotted together in worry. He reached a hand out to press against Hinata's forehead but he swiftly dodged, sliding closer to Suga and popping up just in front of his face, wearing the biggest smile he could muster. 

 

"It's just the heat Suga-san, I'll get over it but I'll switch out if I need a rest, don't worry!" He had stepped away again, just as the teams were signaled to come back onto the court and start the second set. Worried murmurings came from the Karasuno teams as they took their places; amongst them were Daichi, Asahi and Tanaka. Although Tanaka upheld an unobservant façade, almost nothing escaped his watchful eye, be it the way a girl falsely indulged him or the crack in a smile that was usually polished and shining. The crack in Hinatas smile. 

 

"It's not the heat. Something's wrong and it has been for a while." 

 

"Tanaka, we're agreeing with you, something is wrong with Hinata, but he clearly won't tell us what it is. The best we can hope for is something like a cold, unlikely as it is in the beginning of June." 

 

"If we could just make it through this match and then we could get him to sit out on the next one can't we?" 

 

"That would be the solution in a perfect world, Asahi, but this is Hinata and the end of this match seems a little too far away, and he already looks like he's just about ready to drop from heat exhaustion." 

 

Daichi, Asahi and Tanaka took their places on the court just as the whistle went, signaling the start of the new set. This one was longer, and harder. The ball was kept in play for longer than anyone was hoping for, Nekomas solid receives not giving in to Karasuno's forceful spikes, and Daichi keeping the ball up with the help of the team on his side wasn't helping. After gaining twenty-one points aside, everyone was just about ready to drop and rest for the two days ahead of them. The heat was sweltering, they hadn't had a time out since about point 5 and they were all dying for some water. 

 

"Coach, maybe you should call a time out, give everyone a little time to rest and grab some water, especially Hinata. He looks like a corpse." 

 

Suga has stepped out of the sidelines over towards Ukai upon seeing Hinata's face close up when he came overly close to him and the others on the sides to save a ball that had flown out of bounds after a shaky receive from Tsukishima. 

 

"Hm? Well you're not wrong there, and I've been thinking the same thing, but everyone's pulling off moves that we could never get them to do in training just to keep the ball in play. If a situation gets dire, I'll swap out a few people including Hinata. I'll make sure he's the first to get some rest." Ukai looked up at Suga, worry etched into his features, stiff with concern. He walked away reluctantly and continued to watch the game as the ball once again flew over the net towards Noya, who received it effortlessly, sending it to Kageyama who jumped to toss it. As the ball got closer he examined his options. A, toss to Asahi and risk being received once again, Nekoma seeing through the ace and the predictability of his spike. B, toss to Tanaka and have someone like Kuroo keep the ball in play and riling him up, causing him to lose focus and have his attacks become sloppy or C, toss to-

 

"KAGEYAMA! OVER HERE!" 

 

Toss to Hinata. 

 

Hinata tried to focus on the ball, but why was it so hard? Were there two? No, impossible. He ran to it, trying to focus, trying to lock onto the ball but it seemed impossible. His legs felt weak and his head hurt like hell. His eyes flickered between things on the court; the ball, the net, the blockers, Kageyama. But why did it all seem different? Fuzzy? Out of focus? He approached the net and prepared to jump, bringing his arms behind him and bent his legs before he felt the pounding of his blood in his ears and in his temples. He pushed of the ground a moment too late as he saw the ball sail past his head and onto another court, where Shinzen Academy where just starting a match with Fukurodani. Hinata felt his legs give out as he landed, and fell straight to the floor. 

 

That's all he remembered before he fell backwards with a crushing headache and his vision darkening at the corners. 

 

"Hinata? HINATA!" 

 

"He fainted?!" 

 

"It must be this heat, it's exhausting." 

 

"Someone get some water!" 

 

"Here, hold him up, is he coming around?"

 

All the voices sounded incredibly distant as Hinata blearily began to open his eyes, taking in his surroundings. He was on the floor, when had he gotten to the floor? His back was being held up and supported by Daichi, why was he doing that? The team was looming over him, holding out water bottles for him to drink from, but it was unnecessary, he was fi-

 

He blacked out. 

 

"Hinata, hey Hinata are you okay? You fell and blacked out, did you land awkwardly anywhere?" 

 

"Suga-San I'm fine. Well I'm not fine, but I think now is definitely the time where I need to rest a little." Hinata tried to laugh off the situation and help lighten the atmosphere around him as he took one more look around him. The team was crowding him, but through their shoulders Hinata could see Nekoma ducking under the net to see if he was alright, everyone wearing worried expressions. He could hear the outside noise of other teams catching wind of the situation and them too coming closer to check out what happened, the loudest being Bokuto, yelling to Akaashi about how he "needed to know if the shrimp was okay". Hinata finally decided to try and move and get up but only to be stopped by his head pounding even more with what he thought was the worst headache he'd ever experience. This didn't go unnoticed and the team tried to help him up slowly as to not make the headache any worse, offering him his water bottle which he grabbed and started to gulp at, trying his best not to draw attention to his already bruising elbows. As he reached the side of the gym he looked up at Kageyama, just in time to see him slide a piece of paper into his gym shorts. 

 

Hinata's symptom list.

 

Crap. Now he was gonna get an earful from him. Now he'd be pressured into telling everyone just where exactly he had been on the weekends and why he sometimes had to abruptly leave practice with much of an explanation. Yachi interrupted Hinata’s thoughts, saying something he couldn't quite focus on, saying something that could have been important or helpful, but it's not like it's help in a situation he didn't even know about. 

 

"-nata? Hey, Hinata? You need to sit down, rest for a while okay?" 

 

"Hm? Oh, yeah, sure." Hinata finally focused on her and slid down the wall and sat with his knees pulled up to his chest. Now he definitely had l to tell the team. There wasn't really a choice with what the team just witnessed. He couldn't pass it off as a little bump in the road, a little illness he’d get over soon enough. It was bad enough having to rush out of weekend practice with vague excuses that’ll soon stop being believable in any way. He sat and mulled over what to do next; tell the team, have them stop him play or continue to raise suspicions until they take more drastic measures. Either way, they find out. As Hinata watched the game, the worried glances in his direction didn’t go unnoticed. They were clearly concerned for him; the boundless ball of energy losing consciousness in a little midsummer heat was a clear sign that he wasn’t okay. He saw the way they looked at him, the way they recklessly lost points from glancing a second too long at him, hell, he could even hear Bokuto saying something to his vice captain about needing to see if he was okay. He needed out.

“Hey, Yachi. I’m just gonna go to the toilet real quick okay?”

“Oh, yeah sure. Are you going to be alright??

“Yach, I’m just going to the toilet, I’ll be fine.”

He shakily stood up; the change in pace causing his legs to slightly give out as he steadily balanced himself on the wall. He could feel bile rising in his throat as he walked towards the exit and by the time he had turned the corner he flat out ran to the main building so he could throw up. He rushed, sprinting with his hands over his mouth, feet pounding across the ground, a race against himself to make it to the bathroom. His sprint started a moment too soon as Yachi turned her head as soon as Hinata had set off. She chased him, not thinking about anything other than helping her friend. Hinata made it to the building, sharply pulling himself toward the bathroom before jumping into an empty stall and throwing up, vomit barely making it into the bowl. He crouched over the toilet and felt tears burn his face as he sobbed, he couldn’t hold back now; he had just kept it in too long, too long. Lying to Kageyama about not wanting to worry the team when he was just terrified of them rejecting him, telling him that they didn’t need someone on a volleyball team who couldn’t even play. Kept his secret for too long and now, and now-

“Jesus, Hinata!”

Yachi rushed into the toilet grabbing Hinata by the shoulders and looking at him directly in the eye. He was a mess, his eyes were puffy and tear stained and his cheeks were red. He was drooling both vomit and saliva and looked broken. “Oh my god, you need to get cleaned up and go home. There is no way you’re staying in Tokyo if you’re ill. Come on, get cleared up, I’ll help you out-”

“I’m dying, Yachi.”

She stopped instantly. She turned around and saw Hinata with his head back buried in the toilet bowl once more. She chuckled uncertainly, stepping back towards him trying to get his shoulder and look at him but he wouldn’t let her. He kept his head firmly down; refusing to make eye contact, show her just how weak he was.

“Don’t say things like that, please.”

“Yachi, I’m not joking about. I would never say anything like this if it wasn’t true. Please. I’m dying. I’m dying. I’m DYING.” 

“Hinata-!”

“I was diagnosed with cancer about two weeks ago, and, and I’ve been in hospital getting treatment ever since when I’m not at practice. It’s hell, and I’m dying.”

Yachi fell to her knees and leant against Hinata, tears now running down her face. He was serious, this wasn’t some sick joke, and Karasuno’s ball of sunshine had fallen into a black hole.

“Hinata… what, what do I say? What is there to say?”

The door slowly opened and a curious face peered in and stumbled back at the sight. He already knew what must’ve happened.

“You know now do you, Yachi?”

“I’m guessing you’ve known for a while now, Kageyama.”

“It’s high time you tell the rest of the team, Hinata. There’s no way you can hide it from anyone now.” 

Kageyama had moved forward and was standing over the ginger, lowering himself to place his hand on his shoulder, gently shaking him. He’d expected as yes or no from him, but he avoided the question all together and looked back at the setter.

“How come you’re here?”

“Match’s over, we’re useless when worried sick over our teammate. Didn’t last five minutes after you ran off. All the second years are looking for you, we really need to tell them, they’re gonna go crazy if you don’t say something.”

There was a silence in the bathroom before a weak mumble came form Hinata. “Okay. Bring them here.”

“All right, I’ll see you in the hallway in a minute. I can tell them if you want, if you’d rather just stay quiet?” 

“I’ll try my best.”

Kageyama stood up, murmuring a quick okay before turning into the corridor to head back to the team, mostly still in the gym. 

“We’ll never leave you, you know? We’ll never leave you behind; we’re going to be with you every step of the way, no matter how grueling or testing. We are not going to leave you.”

Finally, Hinata lifted his head up, his eyes still puffy and cheeks still red, but still looked a little stronger at the words, cracking a little smile.

“You will?”

“We will. Now, let’s finally clean you up, can’t have you going out to the team looking like this.”

A few minutes later they emerged from the bathroom, but no sooner had Hinata poked his head out of the door, he broke down again, slumping against the doorframe, bawling like he did all the days ago on the hilltop with Kageyama. The team soon found the two, crying into each other’s embraces and one sight of them told everyone whatever Hinata was bout to tell them, it wasn’t good. Kiyoko helped Yachi up and held her in a silent hug and all eyes turned to Hinata, still slumped against the door with tears rolling down his face, spilling onto his hands and shirt.

“I-I- Well, I, shit, Kageyama… I can’t…”

“Right, yeah. Well, Hinata has cancer.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAH! I'm sorry for not updating, but I started the chapter on my phone, and then I was only allowed that on weekends so I couldn't write and stuff happened and now this chapter is hella long (HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT'S 6,000+ WORDS THAT'S WHY IT TOOK ME TWO FUCKING MONTHS) I'm sorry, but here we are!
> 
> (P.S. I put chapters 1 & 2 together because reasons okay?)

"Hinata has cancer?"

"No..."

"Kageyama what the fuck, is this some sick joke?"

"This isn't true..."

"But, fucking cancer? No..."

"No."

All these voices. All disbelieving. All in denial. 

"No, this isn't some fucked up joke, or a prank and I didn't want to believe it at first either, and I'm sure Yachi didn't too, but this is real. And really fucked up. It's why he's bruising easily," Kageyma stood against the wall, indicating to Himatas elbows, now starting to taint with purple, and the heavier, discoloured bruises creeping out of the top of Hinatas shirt. "Why he fainted, and why he's been leaving practice at weird times with some shit excuse; he's got to get to the hospital for Chemotherapy or some other check up. It's been two weeks since he's been diagnosed, and I'm guessing he's had at least two sessions of chemo." 'This is so fucked up' Kageyama thought after explaining to his team what Hinata was acting up about. He looked up at the faces surrounding him and Hinata and took them all in one by one. Almost everyone was in denial, hands grasping their faces for support, breathing heavy and laboured and others had just started to let tears silently roll down their faces, catching every groove, every dip in their features. 

Kageyama slid down the wall to sit next to Hinata. He pulled his hands through his hair, side eyeing Hinata with his arms acting as a mask. He was a mess to put it lightly; sobbing on the floor, fresh tears just replacing the ones that rolled down his cheeks and the ones he wiped away with his hands and wrists. It had been two weeks since that day on the hill so that meant Hinata had undergone two sessions of chemotherapy, and while nobody would have noticed unless you mentioned it, his hair was thinning and his face looked paler. His elbows were already purple and green from when he blacked out and more and more bruises were becoming visible; the ones on his knees from where he dived awkwardly for a ball, the ones on his forearms from receiving a ball that had a little too much effort put into the spike, the ones creeping out the top of his shirt from the flying falls they done yesterday as a practice. Volleyball, the only thing keeping him from falling off the edge of insanity into a dark hole that would have swallowed him, crushed him, was the very same thing pushing him over the brink of death. He was killing himself, making the worst of his situation, just to keep him from losing all he had left tethered down in his mind. Why hasn't he had the strength just to tell Hinata to stop? Just to rest, get better, why? Why couldn't he find it in himself to help him? 

Why?

A silence fell upon the team, almost crushing each and every player every second it lasted. The quiet surrounding them was violent, piercing and hurtful. Punctured with Hinatas sobs and quiet sniffing, it weighed down on them, ploughed into their beings and soon someone was going to have to break it, so Suga did. 

"Well, what now?" 

Surprisingly, Hinata looked up and answered with an uneven voice and choked sobs. 

"We tell coach and have someone take me back. I can't stay here for the next three days- I have to get back to Doctor Ryugazaki, tell him what happened."

"Should we call your mother the-"

"No."

Hinata snapped his head up at Daichis suggestion, staring him down from his crouching position, still resting against the doorframe. 

"Don't call her, she's working. We can't afford for her not to get paid and come all the way to Tokyo just to get me."

"You can't afford it?" Noya stepped out from the team and squatted in front of Hinata, now face to face with him. He hadn't stopped crying, but then again no one had expected him to after what he, or rather Kageyama, had just revealed and now, although he hated to admit it, Noya could feel tears stinging the back of his eyes too. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Chemotherapy isn't exactly cheap, and I've already had two sessions, then there's the cost of all future sessions, my mum's working two jobs now and calling her up to Tokyo for an eight hour round trip is just gonna put a huge debt in her pay. We can't afford that."

All the teams eyes were on him, still on the floor, tears still free falling, voice still cracking. 

"Then what do we do?"

A silence fell upon the team before Tanaka cleared his throat behind Narita and Ennoshita. 

"There's always my sister? She runs errands for her business, you know, like picking up ingredients and stuff and she's in uptown Tokyo right now, I'm sure if we explained the situation she'd be willing to drive you down." 

"Yeah, yeah that could work, could you call her? Ask her if she could do it now?" 

Daichi had once again spoken out, trying his best to keep his head steady but it was so hard, so hard. His teammates, one of the smallest, happiest teammates, had cancer? He wanted to be in denial, wanted to just say 'no it wasn't true' but oh god it was. From the moment Hinata fainted Daichi knew something was wrong, and really wrong at that. He struggled with his thoughts, trying to keep above them as if he were drowning, his head barely breaking the surface and keeping his rational level, but dragging him down were thoughts plagued with death, discoloured with depression. He felt the thoughts pull him down, try to get him to the same mess Hinata was, trying to drag his head below the surface and let him be submerged with emotions. But they couldn't. All they tried, Daichi would kick back up, yanking his limbs back into his control, taking his role as captain more serious than ever. He looked around and could see he wasn't the only one being pulled back, almost everyone on the team struggling with the news; Suga with his hand clasped tightly over his mouth, silent tears making their way down every groove and dip in his face, Tanaka shaking visibly as he reached for the phone in his jacket tied around his waist, Ennoshita, Narita and Kinoshita holding each other up out of shock, Yachi bawling into Kiyokos jacket and finally Kageyama, just sitting next to Hinata, his head cradled in his hands as he side eyed the boy next to him. Apparently some people were fighting back against the tidal thoughts better than others. 

Tanaka finally sent a message out to his sister and stared intently at the screen as if it would make her reply faster. "I've sent her a message, dunno if she'll answer though- well shit, at least something's gone right today!" Tanaka proudly showed the group a simple message from "Big Sis" with a lot of emojis after her name, most of which seemed to be the sunglasses. 

"Tanaka, that doesn't mean anything, you asked if she was there and she replied with a very badly misspelt four word reply: "yh, wat u need"."

Ennoshita stepped forward, taking the phone from Tanaka with shaking hands and read out the response to everyone. "This doesn't mean anything so far, call her, ask if she can take Hinata back, and get him back to hospital as fast as she can!"

"I was gonna do that, I was just surprised that's all, she never answers her phone!"

As Tanaka yelled back, and distinct thumping of footsteps could be heard around the corner. The team looked up, ready to protect the sorry sight of their teammate but only to see Ukai and Takeda pacing down the hallway, looking for the team. They walked at a brisk pace, anxiety levels through the roof as they searched high and low for all twelve of the members and finally found them, huddling and crying, surrounding the sunshine boy himself, crying in the floor with puffy eyes and bruised elbows. "Jesus Christ, there you are! What's happened? What are we doing?" Ukai jogged ahead of the teacher, running up to Daichi as soon as he laid eyes upon the scene unfolding before him. 

Daichi pulled Ukai, and Takeda once he caught up heavily breathing from the short run around the building, and explained the entire situation to them. "I'm not going to put it lightly or sugar coat anything; Hinata has cancer. Kageyama says he's been to at least two chemotherapy sessions, was diagnosed two weeks ago and is the reason he fainted."

"So," Ukai started, hands over his eyes and dragging down in disbelief, slightly pulling at his under eyes, revealing the hidden red flesh underneath. "Hinata, Hinata Shouyou, has cancer? No, that can't be why, can it? There's gotta be something else, right? Right?"

"No, no, this isn't fake is it?" 

Daichi looked at the teachers in response, shaking his head in disappointment. "No, but we've got some idea of what should happen now. Tanaka is calling his sister, she's in Tokyo right now, and from there everything is in Hinatas family's hands. We should be returning to Miyagi in two days, just as planned, but minus one player."

"Jesus," Ukai had dropped his hands, but somehow they'd found their way back up to his cheeks, dragging down slowly, just like before. "This is all very real, how'd this happen?"

"I really don't know coach, but right now, our main concern isn't bombarding Hinata with questions but rather to get him home safely and back on the track to treatment." The three looked over at the crowd, now just as much a mess as Hinata; some crying, others consoling those in tears. Suddenly a cheer erupted from Tanaka, followed by a chorus of "thank you"'s from the other second years, Narita and Ennoshita going over to sit next to Hinata. Tanaka was bounding over to Daichi and the teachers, beaming and holding his phone. "She said she'll take him back to Miyagi!" He exclaimed, arm on Daichis. 

"You managed to convince her? Did you tell her about the cancer?" Daichi looked back at Tanaka, now holding his arms. 

"No, even I know not to go around telling everyone and anyone about this, so I said one of our teammates is really ill and needs to go home. Surprisingly, she said she'd do it and will be here in less than an hour." He was smiling, so happy that his sister, for once in her life, was being so cooperative. Maybe the winds were blowing in Hinatas favour today. 

"That's great! It'll take, what, 4 hours? Maybe a little more?" Takeda chipped in from beside Daichi, pushing his glasses as they slid down. 

"A little less actually, my sister can be a little, wild, let's say." 

Tanaka returned to the main group and delivered the good news to them properly, and before they knew it, a small van bearing a logo that read "Karasuno Café" had pulled into the parking lot a little recklessly, and a small woman, the spitting image of Tanaka, stepped out, clad in a crop top and high waisted jeans. She surveyed the crowd and found him, the boy she pretty much raised herself, practically clawing at anyone who stared a little too long at his friend. "Ryuu! I'm here!" She called out to her brother, and waved her arms. He bounded over, yelling more thank you's to her before she held out her arm to stop him in his tracks. "You gonna tell me what's going on?"

Tanaka drew a blank. His face fell and he physically slumped at the question. He stammered, trying to play dumb and hide the reason for needing her. "U-uh, what d'you mean sis?"

"Listen Ryuu, take a look at your team. It doesn't take an idiot like you to figure out this isn't a little cold, or some bad headache. You gonna tell me or what? There are people crying for Christ's sake!" She grabbed him by the head and rubbed her hand against the shaved stubble. 

"Fine! Fine! Something is wrong, OK? But as much as you hate to put me down, I am considerate and I know that it is not my place to tell you! Now, stop that, it hurts!" He was wriggling under her actions, lowering himself in a feeble attempt to free himself from his sisters vice grip. "And don't go pushing him for answers, I know you'd pull something like that!"

"Aw shut up Ryuu, I know not to push too hard on someone so weak! I'm a Tanaka, I know!" She finally released him, and he stumbled backwards grabbing his head protectively and walking straight into Daichi. He was standing at the front of the entire team, who were all walking close by Hinata, Suga practically crushing him in a hug. Daichi broke away from the group and walked up to Saeko, who had reverted back to leaning on her car, watch the scene before her unfold. "You must be Tanaka's sister, listen, we can't thank you enough for taking Hinata back to Miyagi, really. He needs to get back there and if you could just drop him off at his house, everything will be okay and here I'll even pay you-"

"Rubbish! I will take no money from you. Listen up, Sawamura, is it?" He nodded with a blank face from shock. "I can tell from the scene you guys are making he hasn't just got some cold or something, but something really is wrong and as far as you and I are concerned, this is just a little stop off from my job. And don't worry, if he doesn't want to tell me, I won't ask. He doesn't look to be in the best shape and even I know pushing him would be too much." She finished her little speech by pulling out her car keys from the leather jacket she wore and spinning them on her index finger, cocking her head to look directly at Hinata. "You're Hinata right? C'mon, I'll get you home safe and sound." She pulled open the car door and climbed into the drivers seat and rolled down the window, watching as the team said goodbye. How did he even get to this point? Was everyone on the Karasuno team blind? 

Hinata soon got in the car, strapping himself in to the passenger seat with a sad look in his eyes. Now that Saeko looked at the boy close up, she could tell just how ill he was; his hair was limp and dull, his features slightly sunken and his overall demeanour just seemed broken. She waved to the team before pulling out of parking lot that he was in not three hours before, jumping around, chasing Tsukishima for that stupid photo of him and Kageyama, running around on the sandy dirt ground, jumping and grabbing at Tsukishimas phone. But now everything was so different. 

Saeko and Hinata sat in silence for a good half an hour before Saeko broke it, clearing her throat. "I know that this isn't just some cold, y'know. Ryuu did always say that I'm a good shoulder to cry on if you want." She stopped at that, leaving the subject to hang in the air between them, the silence supporting it. Hinata sniffed a little, but remained quiet, mumbling a weak excuse under his breath. 

"It's nothing."

"Well okay, we've got quite the drive ahead of us though, I don't really want to spend it sitting in an awkward silence." She left it there, reaching down to the radio before Hinata said something that almost made her crash the car.

"I have cancer."

Her hand slipped on the wheel and she swerved dangerously on the road, correcting herself almost instantly. "I'm so sorry, I knew it was something, but I never, would never-"

"It's okay. I don't want any sympathy. I'm just tired of it at this point. I just want to play again and not be burdened with this whole- I don't know, this whole thing!" Hinata had started to cry again, but once more it was like that day on the hill, not crying out of sadness, but an anger. Anger aimed at everything; technology not being advanced enough, the odds of him even developing the cancer, at absolutely everything. 

"Are you strapped in?" 

Saekos voice clear and steady. She stared straight ahead at the road, giving it her undivided attention as she continued speaking. "Call your mother. I'm taking you straight to the hospital. Oh and try not to scream over the phone at my driving, I don't exactly have the best track record of driving people's kids home, it's a good thing Yuu's mother loves me as a daughter she never had." Saeko laughed as she slammed her foot down on the acceleration, pulling the car into fourth gear and speeding down the highway. 

"Hu- AAAAAAHHH-!" Hinata yelled as he grabbed at his seatbelt, pushing himself further into the seat. "Wh-wh-what are you doing?!?!" 

"Flooring it. I'm getting you back to Miyagi as soon as possible, now, call your mother!" 

~~

Saekos driving got them back to Miyagi in just under three and a half hours, and they now sat in a hospital waiting room, making light conversation whilst watching the clock slowly tick by as they waited for Hinatas doctor to come in. The door burst open and a woman stood in the doorway, panting heavily. She was a shade taller than Hinata himself, but her hair was a darker orange than her sons and would be completely straight if she didn't look like she just ran a marathon. She looked to be quite young, but the dark circles under her eyes added to her aged look. "Shouyou! Oh my God, Shouyou are you okay? What happened in Tokyo?" She ran to her son and fretted over him, brushing his hair out of his face, cupping his cheeks and checking his temperature with the back of her free hand. 

"Mum- mum! I just fainted, but the team thought it'd be best if I came back and talk to Dr. Ryugazaki about it. Mum please-"

"Ahem." 

Everyone in the room turned to the doctor at the door, wiping his red glasses on his white jacket. "If you could follow me please, I'll need to talk to you in a separate room, oh, um family only please." He looked directly at Saeko, who was standing by the uncomfortable seats both she and Shouyou were on a couple of minutes ago. 

"Oh yeah, of course. I was just Hinatas ride from Tokyo, I'll just go now, good luck Shouyou, get better for us okay?"

"Oh, um could I ask for your name?" Hinatas mother stepped away from her son and towards Saeko. 

"Oh, Tanaka Saeko, I'm one of the guys sister, I was in Tokyo when Ryuu called so-" She was cut off by Hinatas mother who pulled her into a tight embrace, hugging her with all the power she could muster. 

"Thank you, Tanaka-kun. Thank you for getting Shou back safe." 

"Any-Any time." The three parted ways and Shouyou and his mother followed the doctor into a free room, in silence. When they were sure the door was closed, Rei indicated the bed for Shouyou to sit on and the chair close by for his mother. He looked solemn and instantly, both Shouyou and his mother knew this was not going to be good news. 

"So, with recent events and test results, the nurses and I have decided to keep you in hospital for today and the next three days after that. You should be able to go home after that, but might need to come in soon after that if more tests come back with negative results." Another silence filled the room, the news wasn't exactly bad, but it wasn't expected either. Or maybe it was. 

Hinata and his mother followed the doctor into a different room a couple of floors up, in the paediatric ward. It was a small private room, with the bed taking up most of the the space, the free area taken up by a few chairs for visitors. On the bed was a hospital gown, folded neatly and placed delicately on the pillow, which had a drab grey case and matching sheets. Rei coughed slightly behind them, an apologetic look on his face. "We're sorry for the size of the room, but the ward is sadly filled at the moment. But a girl at the end of the corridor is getting discharged in two days and you'll be moved there. If you could please change into the gown provided, Hinata-san, if you could follow me, I'd like to ask some questions." And with that, Hinata was alone in the room. He changed into the gown and left his clothes over the rail at the end of the bed before jumping up onto it. 

"Surprisingly comfortable..." He thought out loud as the door clicked open and a nurse with red hair walked in, pushing a small tray with a range of items. 

"Hello Shouyou, while your here, I'll be the nurse you'll be seeing the most, nice to meet you, I'm Kou. If I could just take some blood for a few tests, that would be great." She walked closer to Hinata with the tray and Hinata saw what was on it; a syringe was lying on the metal and next to it two bags, one filled with blood, the other containing a clear liquid. 

"Um, sure, but what are those?" Hinata asked tentatively, pointing to the bags and surprising the nurse chuckled. 

"Don't look so worried, the blood is just for a transfusion, and you'll only need that if the results of this test come back with negative results. The other bag contains intravenous liquid, and I'll have to hook that up for you." She smiled as she prepared the syringe and asked Shouyou to hold out his arm. He complied, but shut his eyes and turned away from Kou, his face screwed up in anticipation. Once again, he heard Kou chuckle. "Don't like injections? Don't worry, it'll be done soon-"

"AH, OW OW!!" 

"And we're finished. Are you okay?" 

"I hate needles." Hinata had gone to grab his arm, but Kou pushed his hand out of the way lightly, dabbing at the pin prick wound with a damp cotton wool ball. 

"Well sorry about that Shouyou, but I've got some bad news, you're in a hospital, there are quite a few needles to come." Hinata groaned at the thought and fell back, looking out of the window, upside down. "Up you get now, I've got a needle with your name on it!"

"Stop teasing," he moaned as he sat up and leaned against the pillow rested against the headboard, "'s not fair."

Once more, a soft chuckle brushed past the nurses lips and she fiddled with the bag filled with the clear liquid, hooking it up to a metal pole next to the bed and attaching it to a needle. "I'm sorry, but sadly that's how it is, now, could I borrow your arm?" 

"Anytime." Hinata deadpanned as he held his arm out and once again scrunched his face up and shit his eyes. He waited to feel the needle being removed, but instead felt the nurses warm hands leave his skin and heard her step back towards the tray. "Wait-"

"Sorry Shouyou, but that one is an IV, that one stays in your arm, patients often say they can't feel it after a while though, so it should be fine. I'll be back with Dr. Ryugazaki soon with the results of the blood test soon okay? Sit tight!" And with that, Kou left. Hinata was left in silence again. He stayed like that for a while, he didn't know for how long exactly stayed like that, but what woke him from his own mind was his mother walking into his room, slightly teary eyed. 

"Hi mum, any news?"

"Oh, no not really, just a small update on your condition." 

She took the first free seat; there were two in the room, and sat, not saying a word. Small conversation was made about Shouyou's school work, his condition, volleyball, anything. Their conversation was interrupted by Dr. Ryugazaki and Nurse Matsuoka walking through the door with a clipboard each. They stood at the end of Shouyou's bed and stated that the white blood cell levels in his blood had increased since his last test and would have to have a blood transfusion. 

So he would have to another needle in his arm after all. 

After Kou repeated the process of hooking Hinata up to the bag attached to the weird pole next to his bad, she told him to get some rest, it was the best thing to do in a hospital. Hinata was already tired as it was, and drifted off to sleep in ten minutes. 

~~

He awoke the next day to Kou gently shaking him- what time was it? She was saying something about visitors, but first he needed to get his head around the first obstacle- how long has he slept for?

"Kou- Kou, what time is it?"

"Oh, a little after midday, but I thought I'd wake you, you have some visitors." 

"O-oh, who?" The team was still in Tokyo, they had another two days there, was it family?

"Well, they said I should give you this-" she handed him a black jacket with white writing scrawled across the back- "and you'll know who they are."

 

He looked at the jersey, well rather, he stared at the jersey. They were in Tokyo; they had another two days in Tokyo, so who brought his jersey? They had a training camp, why would they come back to Miyagi? 

“Do you want to see them?”

“U-uh, sure, let them in.” Hinata wasn’t sure why, but his eyes were watering, was he crying? Why would they take the four hour trip just to come see him? He was in safe hands; they should have stayed, practiced for the Inter-high coming up in autumn. His vision blurred at the sight of his jacket and soon felt tears fall onto the white writing, bearing the name Karasuno High School. The door clicked and his head shot up, looking at the five people walking into his room: Daichi, Suga, Kageyama, Ennoshita and Noya. Why were they here-?

“Don’t give us that look, why else would we be here?” Suga walked in and plopped himself down onto one of the three free chairs in Hinata’s room with a smile plastered on his face, although worry was hidden beneath his eyes. He looked at Hinata’s mother and gave her a coy smile as well, quietly introducing himself and the others as Daichi walked over to Suga and took the spare chair at the end of Hinata’s bed, a small smile upon his face too.

“Did you honestly think we’d just stay up in Tokyo after you dropped that news on us?” Daichi laughed at this, subconsciously rubbing the back of his head as he did so, trying to see the humour, although ultimately failing. One of his teammates was sitting in a hospital bed with multiple tubes and wires linking him to machinery and, and- was that a bag of blood? He took one look around the room, heavy with tension and could see both Kageyama and Ennoshita were on the verge of tears. Just why was this happening? 

“Is everyone else here too then?” Hinata’s voice was weak after the night of disuse and the shock of the team arriving, but he tried to keep it steady, tried to keep it collected for his façade, although there really was no point in have one anymore.

“All downstairs, the hospital said, and I quote, “it would be absolutely ridiculous for thirteen teenagers to visit one boy, only six are allowed in the room at a time and you should all just go home and come back in smaller groups. Oh and my favourite part: “Who even has thirteen friends who care about them that much?”. Can you believe it?” Ennoshita took the last seat, smiling at Hinata as he dropped onto it. Hinata found it within himself to genuinely smile back and laughed as he quipped back.

“See? I told you I have a lot of friends, mum!” He rubbed his eyes, wiping away the tears and looking at the people in the room, Noya and Kageyama were still awkwardly standing by the door, chuckling a little at Hinatas joke, but still overwhelmingly standoffish. “You can sit on the bed you know? It’s not that comfortable, but it’s better than the doorway.” He flashed a smile, another real one and while Noya bounded over to the bed before essentially leaping onto it, crossed legged and beaming, Kageyama remained in the doorway. “Kageyama…!”

“Kageyama-kun, the bed really is a better place to sit, just come over already! Still so awkward, after all the times we’ve met!” Hinatas mum laughed to herself, bouncing a sleeping Natsu on her knee and shaking her head in an amused disbelief as Kageyama flushed bright red.

“Whoa, whoa,” Noya piped up from the corner of the bed he claimed as his own, “You’ve met Kageyama?” He turned to look at Hinata’s mother, chuckling to herself a little more, but keeping it under control to keep Natsu happily snoring on her lap.

“Well, you boys must know my son isn’t the smartest of kids in your school, so Kageyama-kun and a very pretty young girl, Yachi you said her name was, and study together. Whether it helps them or not, I don’t know, but they seem to have fun. Natsu likes Yachi a lot,” The woman bumped her knee a little at this, stirring Natsu but not enough to wake the child, carrying on, “she says she’s princess and in fairness she’s not wrong. You boys better treat her nicely.” 

A chorus of reassurances rang out through the room, and after that, everyone just continued to hold a conversation. The topic of Hinata being sat in a hospital bed with thinning hair was avoided and when it happened to come up through someone’s recklessness or a surprise pop in from one of the nurses, a new discussion was picked up relatively quickly. 

Soon, their time came to an end, Daichi saying the others were downstairs and would want to see Hinata, and just before Suga was about to leave, he turned around, surprising Hinata and the sleepy Natsu who had climbed onto his lap after waking up to Noya’s loud barks of laughter. 

“Your birthday is soon isn’t it? A week or so right?”

“Five days exactly, it's the 21st, why?”

Suga smirked and turned away, and commented, “Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday, that’s all.”

Hinata turned to look at his mother, and shot her a look of confusion, to which she returned with an equally confused frown. The door clicked open and five people walked in: Yachi, Yamaguchi, Tanaka, Asahi and Kiyoko. Asahi took the chair nearest the door and Tanaka took the nearest to Hinata’s mother. Kiyoko took the last; flashing the woman a small smile before positively beaming at Natsu and watching as Natsu shot up and tried to crawl over to her. Tanaka watched the entire exchange, entranced and Yamaguchi and Yachi took the corners of the bed. They all nodded to Hinata and an awkward silence fell on them all before Natsu broke it, almost yelling at Kiyoko, “You’re even prettier than Yachi-san and Yachi-san is very pretty, so that means you’re very, very, very pretty!”

“I-Uh, thank you very much, are you Hinatas little sister?” Kiyoko flushed at Natsu’s praise and no sooner than Kiyoko’s question had left her mouth had Natsu jumped up with just as much spring as her brother and, again, practically yelled.

“The name is Hinata Natsu and I’m gonna become the best at any sport, because I am the best at anything athletic!”

The room erupted into laughter as she ran around the room, her tiny fists balled up and waving around and ended her little scene by landing face down on her brother’s bed, right next to Yamaguchi’s legs.

“She’s like an even smaller version of you!” Yamaguchi laughed at the spitting image of the boy, and only noticed just how out of shape he was. His sister was healthy, essentially radiating with colour and had bright orange, thick locks whereas her brother looked sunken, his skin discoloured and his features seemed a little sunken and his hair, once just as full as the little girls who was now somehow on his lap, was dull and thinning. He’d always known that chemotherapy caused hair to thin, but he’d never seen it in real life, to someone he knew. Yamaguchi took one look at Hinata and saw on the overall, he didn’t look good, but through everything, he still cracked a winning smile for his family.

The laughter soon died down and small talk bubbled up as a replacement, but soon, the door clicked open once more and a nurse came in with a small tray with a few items on it. While nobody got a clear view of what it exactly was on the tray, a small red bag could be seen lying amongst needles and syringes. 

“I’m sorry for interrupting, I just need to replace the healthy blood supply and take a few tests, please carry on.” 

Looks of confusion from almost everyone in the room were sent Hinata’s way as he nodded at the nurse and held up his thin arm to her. He looked back at his friends and chuckled a bit. “The cancer I have is a cancer of the blood, so a treatment method is to supply my body with healthy blood from another person, and she needs to check the levels of white blood cells in my own blo- OW!” Hinata looked down at his arm to see the nurse pulling a syringe full of his blood out of his arm, smiling apologetically.

“Sorry about that, Shouyou. You were distracted so I saw it as an opportunity, I apologise, but now the painful part is over, just need to hook you up to this.” She continued with her work, placing the syringe back on the tray and fiddling with a tube coming from his left arm. 

“Anyway,” Shouyou continued, almost completely unfazed by the actions, “the nurses check my own white blood cell levels before giving me more donated blood. It hurts when they quite literally stick a needle in my arm to steal my blood, but apparently that’s normal.” The nurse chuckled at this, muttering as she finished with connecting the tube to the new bag, which she hung up on the pole next to Hinata’s bed.

“You do have a rather unique way of phrasing our medical procedures, Shouyou. Anyway, your IV seems to be fine and I have a suitable sample from you, so I’ll be off now, the results will come back in just over an hour, I’ll update you then, have a nice night Shouyou and company.” The nurse bowed quickly as she left the room, leaving everyone in another silence. Asahi was the first to speak.

“It all looks complicated, and painful.”

“Complicated? No. It’s very simple actually, IV for fluid regulations I think and other stuff like that, blood for traaansfusions? Right mum?” He looked over at her, and she gave a sleepy nod, reassuring him. “Yeah, transfusions and the blood tests are just to see if I’m getting any better. But you are right about painful, sleeping is near impossible connected to these bloody things.” He indicated to the two poles either side of his bed, both supporting their respective bags of liquid: one blood, the other intravenous fluid. 

The discussion dissolved into lesser things after that; the volleyball club, school, other activities and as the clock struck six o’clock, the older nurse from earlier thrust the door open, her face stony as usual and demanded that the five of them leave. Natsu and Hinata’s mother were allowed to stay as they were family, but the others filed out, saying their goodbyes and promising to see him again after school and practice. The room was quiet after they left, nothing but Natsu’s heavy breathing from sleep filling the room. The stony-faced nurse left and moments later, another nurse came in. She had soft features and Hinata had learnt she was new to the job, graduating from medical school only a few months back, and only getting an actual job as a nurse a couple of weeks ago. She walked in sheepishly with a chart wedged between her arm and torso and cleared her throat at the end the end of Hinatas bed.

“Hello again Shouyou, Hinata-san, I come with news. Your test results concerning the white blood cells levels came back no better than before. This isn’t necessarily bad news, don’t worry, it just isn’t great news.” Hinata’s mother shot up, her previous sleepy state forgotten, her face filled with worry.

“Then what kind of news is it?”

“The dosage you are currently taking for chemotherapy will need to be increased seeing as the current dosage seems to be doing nothing but keeping the levels a constant. There will be side affects from this though. You may have noticed your hair is thinning, and falling out at times, well this will continue at an even faster pace. We recommend shaving your head and wearing a wig, headscarf or simply a hat, although now that it’s summer, they may not be needed. I’ll leave you now, Hinata-san, please note that family visiting hours will be over soon and you will need to leave with your daughter.” She bowed from her spot at the end of Shouyou’s bed before leaving the room, silence once again falling. 

“Shouyou…” His mother looked to be on the verge of tears, her hand shaking over her mouth as she whispered her son’s name. “Oh, Shou, Shou this means it isn’t working, the treatment isn’t working!”

“Mum! Please don’t cry, please don’t. This doesn’t mean the treatment isn’t working, it just means the dosage was too small, look on the bright side! At least it isn’t getting worse!”

“But Shouyou, it isn’t getting better! And now you need to shave your head, Shouyou you don’t need to do this, why isn’t the treatment working?”

Tears were silently falling down her face as she stared at her son. He looked to be almost on the verge of tears too, but with his sister lying on his lap, he also looked ready to take the world.

“Mum, I don’t care if I need to shave my head in order to get better, I really don’t. As much as I love my bright orange hair, if I need to shave it to get better, then I will. Please, I’m just as scared as you are, even more actually, but if the higher dosage will help me, then I’ll take it. Now please, stop crying, take Natsu home and get some rest, I know about the jobs, but you need sleep, please, for me?” And with that final question, Shouyou shook his sister gently waking her up and pleading with his eyes to his mother to go home and sleep. 

Before long, they had left too, leaving Shouyou in a silence once again. The more and more he visited hospital; the more and more he became accustomed to these silences. He was so used to noise filling his life: Natsu laughing or yelling, the familiar sound of volleyballs slapping against skin, or slamming into the floor, the buzz of school when he was rushing to practice, anything really. There was always noise in his life, but now there was more and more silence, and in all honesty,

It wasn’t too bad.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3,000 words of not much really happening.

The day of Hinatas discharge rolled around after three days full of the teams visits and short visits from his mum, usually dropping Natsu off before rushing out for her next shift. He enjoyed the visits from everyone because they broke up the days burdened with the same routine tests and small talk with doctors, but he really just wanted to get out of the hospital, get back to the team instead of the team coming back for him. It frustrated him that he couldn't move about at the hospital, and was confined to his tiny room and the toilets down the hall; he just wanted to move, to run for Christ's sake, but no. He just had to sit and wait for his discharge date only to be greeted for staying in the hospital some more, even over his birthday. 

But all of that didn't matter now he was standing in the lobby, with a small backpack of the few necessities he owned and Kou waiting with him for Kageyama and his father. They made small talk between themselves; about Kageyama, what his father would be like, about how Hinata was planning on shaving his head. Their conversation was interpreted by a large man, about half a head taller that Kageyama and with the very same black hair, with a small bald spot coming out the top of his head like a beacon of old age. He called out to Hinata beckoning him over with a very awkward looking son standing next to him, frantically muttering about being embarrassed. 

"Oh come, come, Tobio. There's nothing to be embarrassed about, we're just picking your friend up!"

"Yes but you're making a scene!" Kageyama's dad plodded over to Hinata and Kou a worn smile plastered on his face; he looked like a jolly man, a man who always looked out for others, wrinkles etched into his features from laughter in his years before. Now this begged the question: how on earth was Tobio his son? 

"Hello, Hinata! Ready to go? Must be a relief to get out of here, huh?" Kageyamas father said happily, a smile etched onto his face, beaming from ear to ear. But before Hinata could even get a word out, Kou had stood to face the man, an air of professionalism surrounding her. 

"Excuse me sir, are you going to be Shouyou's guardian for the time being?" 

"Uh yeah, that's why I'm here, right Tobio?" Tobio gave a sullen nod.

"Well I'll need you to sign a few papers please, just for legal reasons." She gave a small smile and handed the man a pen, leading him over to the desk to sign said papers. Kageyama glanced at Hinata and slightly winced at his appearance; he shouldn't look like this, he should be stuffing his face with pork buns and laughing obnoxiously loud, not standing awkwardly in a hospital lobby, waiting to go home and have his head shaved. 

"Hey, dumbass-" Kageyama shoved Hinata gently, gaining his attention- "why's my dad gotta sign those papers?" Hinata blinked up at him, his wide brown eyes reflecting Kageyama almost perfectly with their dull look. 

"Oh, it's just because he's not my legal guardian or something like that, mum didn't tell me much." Kageyama nodded in understanding, shifting unnoticeably closer to Hinata. After what happened in Tokyo, Kageyama felt what he could only describe as a maternal love for Hinata, and he'd be surprised if everyone in the team didn't feel the same. About to say something, Kageyama opened his mouth, but was cut off by Hinata clearing his throat, "So, did you bring what I asked?" 

"Oh, oh yeah it's in my bag in the car." They were referring to the electric razor Hinata had told him to bring and shave his head with, because Hinata himself didn't have one. 

"Thank you, for all this I mean. It means a lot." Hinata smiled up at Kageyama and at that moment Kageyamas dad returned, the smile still worn upon his face and before Tobio could reply and was ushered out of the hospital with just enough time for both boys to send a quick wave to Kou. 

"Now boys, off to Shouyou's!" They all climbed into the sleek black car parked not too far from the entrance, both Hinata and Kageyama getting into the back, Hinatas bag taking up the middle seat. "That reminds me, Shouyou, where's your parents? Why couldn't they pick you up?" Kageyama’s father pulled out onto the road, and Hinata knew it was a genuine question, but couldn't help but feel like he was being a little rude, even if it was unintentional. 

"Oh, my mum's working right now, so couldn't come pick me up." He turned his gaze to out the window, hoping that his answer was enough. 

"Oh ok, what about your old man-"

"Dad." Tobio cut his dad off a little too late and saw Hinata visibly deflate at the question, leaning back in the seat even further. 

"It's fine." Hinata sat up a little, shaking his head as if he was trying to shake the bad thoughts from his brain, trying to scatter them and lose them. "It's been a long time now, I'm kinda over it." 

"Over what?" With Kageyama’s dad asking these overbearing questions, Hinata could now see how Kageyama was his son. 

 

"My dad left soon after my sister was born, well rather, my mum left him. As far as I know, he cheated on my mum or something, I don't know the details, I was never told." He sighed and after that, the rest of the car ride was spent in silence, apart from the notification Hinata got half way through the ride. 

The team knew about Hinata’s family life, he didn’t really make his feelings towards his dad a secret; he hated him. It angered and annoyed him to even think about why anyone would cheat on someone they married, made vows to and showed an undying devotion to, just to leave the mess they made behind. He ran off somewhere with another woman (who looked like a toad in Shouyou’s opinion) and left his family in a state of financial instability, just to make matters worse.

More silence, and it was this one experience that made Hinata take back what he thought before; he didn't like it, it was as awkward as ever. 

After a very awkward forty-five minutes, they arrived at the Hinata residence, and no sooner had they parked than Hinata was out of the car, thanking Kageyama’s dad quickly and bolting for the door. Kageyama caught up soon enough, after thank his father and grabbing his bag, and took the keys out of Hinatas shaking hands. 

"What's the rush, dumbass? You said there was no one home-" Kageyama unlocked the door and Hinata pushed it open, yelling as he did so.

"Natsu! I'm home!" 

"Nii-chan!" Natsu came bounding around the corner, jumping straight into her brother’s arms. "Finally! I've been waiting long enough!" Hinata beamed, nothing like the small smiles he'd given everyone at the hospital, but an actual smile, and a huge one at that.

"Don't get cheeky with me, Natsu, I'll have your head!" He teased mercilessly, grabbing her pigtails and pulling ever so slightly. She laughed at this, shook him loose and stuck her tongue out before even taking any notice of Kageyama standing in the doorway, already removing his shoes. 

"Is Kageyama staying?!" She almost yelled with excitement, taking both boys off guard. 

"Uh, yeah, he's here to stay the night while mum's working." 

"So is he gonna stay here lot?" 

"Maybe, but he's here tonight to do something for me." He finished the sentence sadly, looking away for he didn't want to Natsu to know how the cancer had progressed to the point of having to shave his head. 

"Do what?" Damn. How do you explain this to a 9 year old?

"We'll tell you later, don't worry." Surprisingly it was Kageyama who answered, smiling softly, features visibly losing their signature hardness. He held out a hand and Natsu jumped up, abandoning her brother to jump into Kageyamas arms instead. The two laughed and Hinata found himself chuckling at their friendship. If anything had come out of the last few days in hospital, it had to be Natsu's and Kageyamas relationship; it was unlikely yet endearing, how Kageyama would soften at the sight of the little girl, and how Natsu would dash at the chance to give Kageyama a hug. 

"So when's later?" 

"Later. That's when."

Natsu stuck her tongue out again at the answer and they both laughed at their exchange. Standing with Natsu in his arms resting on his hips he carried her into the kitchen and nodded at Hinata to lead the way. Hinata ran through the open doorway leading to the kitchen and jumped up onto the counter, kicking his legs and watching Kageyama walk in, like some sort of dad, holding Natsu and resting her on his hip, posture bent slightly from carrying her, but straightened up once he plopped her down next to her. "Now," he started, "lunch!" 

The siblings cheered, arms flying up at the sound of food, smiles wide as they watched Kageyama blindly navigate his way through the kitchen, looking for ingredients, pots, pans, anything. Bit by bit, he slowly found everything he needed, skillfully spinning lids and (surprisingly) flipping a small knife between his fingers, putting on a show for the siblings. 

"Kageyama, where'd you learn all that stuff? I swear you live and breathe volleyball, it's weird to see you do something else good." Hinata giggled behind his hand, his impish expression changing in a flash to resemble fear when Kageyama pulled off a complicated spin of the knife and pointed it directly at his teammates face. 

"Ha. Ha," Kageyama deadpanned, "well, for your information, it's hard to be bad at cooking when your mother's a chef and father's a baker. It's in my blood I guess." With another flip, Kageyama had a firm grip and started chopping vegetables and chicken on two separate boards ("It's important to do that dumbass!"), preparing the food delicately before chucking in all the vegetables into a pan and watching as they sizzled in the oil, slowly cooking at the edges before he threw in the chicken, smirking at the entranced looks on the siblings faces. 

"Does Suga know about this? He'd be all over it and you'd be all over his Instagram, maybe even be in his videos!" Hinata exclaimed suddenly, indicating to his phone, sitting to his left on the counter. It was common knowledge amongst the team (and some of the schools third years) that Suga was known to be "internet famous", his Instagram, filled with artistic pictures of anything and everything (including the team) and even modeling shots from Asahi and Daichi on occasions, had a staggering 80,000 followers most of which were actually active. He often bragged about the first years, posting videos of Kageyama and Hinatas freak quick or Yamaguchi's float serves and taking any opportunity to shout them out. 

Kageyama adjusted the heat on the stove and replied almost nonchalantly, "Nah, it's my little secret, so shh~" Kageyama really was a different person around kids, but Hinata guessed that was a little secret too. 

"Anyway, speaking of Suga, he hadn't posted in a while has he? You'd think his follower count would take a hit wouldn't it." Kageyama visibly tensed at the subject, and looked up with the best poker face he could (which wasn't very hard, seeing as his permanent resting face was that of a frown) and sighed a little. 

"He's, uh, just taking a break after what happened a few days ago, when you told the team." 

"Oh, I see." 

Kageyama finished making lunch and carefully presented it on small plates with little lion designs decorating the edges, placing the plates in front of the siblings. "And Viola, or something I don't know I heard it on T.V. once." 

They all ate, sharing a comfortable conversation and laughing when Natsu tried to join in, but ultimately flew off topic at some point and ended up just yelling about something or another. 

As they finished eating, and Kageyama cleared off the table, Natsu spoke up once more, catching both boys off guard. "Is it later yet?" She asked innocently, eyes cast down as she played with her hair, pinned up in small pigtails. 

"Yeah, it's later..." Hinata sighed softly, eyes downcast and dull as he walked over to his sister. "Hey, Natsu? Can you promise me not tone upset, or scared, and just take this news bravely?" His voice was soft and saddened as he looked at his sister, all innocent smiles and curious eyes. 

"Yeah, why?" 

"Natsu, it's just... The treatment for my illness isn't working very well, so I have to do more, and that has certain side effects..." His voice was unsteady and caught in his throat because what the hell happened with fate to make him have to explain this to a freaking child?

"Nii-chan, what's happening?" 

"The treatment makes my hair fall out, and the nurses advised me to shave my hair before it happens." He looked at her with solemn eyes, expecting her to cry or wail about how this entire situation is unfair, but instead she smiled softly at him.

“I think baldness would suit you, Nii-chan, so it doesn’t matter that you have to shave it.”

Ah, they forgot. She was nine, seriousness didn't sit easy with children and of course she took it lightly.

Hinata drew up the stool he dragged from the kitchen into the bathroom and unceremoniously dropped onto it once they got there. Natsu dropped to his feet, spinning around and leaning her head onto his thigh and sighing as she looked at the door. Kageyama plugged in the razor and all three of them flinched at the harsh buzzing that filled the room. 

“You ready?” Kageyama stood behind Hinata, the razor ready in his hand, sharp edges biting at each other with nothing to grip at.

“Oh, hm.” He hummed and tensed his shoulder when he heard the buzzing come closer until the hard plastic made contact with his forehead. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, almost curling in on himself, but stopping upon feeling the supportive hands of his best friend and his sister on his leg and shoulder. The razor pulled back and Hinata didn’t even have to open his eyes to know that was the first strip of his head being shaved. Strands of hair fell limply onto his hands, dull and feather light. It felt like it was nothing but a cruel reminder of what exactly was happening to his body and how it was betraying him, how it was dull and nothing but a bad reflection of who he was now. 

The razor pulled back again, this time next to the bald strip, and ravished the same fleeting carnage, cutting his hairs impossibly short and leaving uncomfortable stubble. Tears broke from his eyes and fell along with his hair, landing heavily on his lap.

“Nii-chan? Now you’re gonna have no hair, do I have to grow mine out to make up for it?”

“Natsu, you don’t have to-”

“I’m gonna do it.”

She turned to face her brother, a determined look in her eyes and smile on her face. “I’ll be like a princess when you’re cured and I won’t cut it until you’ve got yours back!”

Hinata laughed. He genuinely laughed, with tears still rolling down his face, he laughed at his sister, at what she was planning to do for him. “You do that, I’m looking forward to it.”

“Halfway, wanna see? You look pretty funny actually.” Kageyama quipped from behind Hinata, looking at him with a smirk on his face, razor still in his hand, still viciously buzzing, clipping and clawing at the stray hairs caught between the blades. Hinata stalked up to the mirror, unprepared for what he had to see, but one sight at his ridiculous style, he burst into a shallow laughter.

“Oh my God! What the hell, look at it! I look so stupid!” His light chuckle at his sister had exploded into a weak laugh, but from Hinatas perspective, he was howling. Still laughing at how he looked, he dropped back onto the stool, his sister regaining her place and resting her head on his knee. “It’s gonna be okay…” he whispered to himself, “it’s going to be fine.” 

Kageyama had finished the other side, shaving it as fast as he could, just to get it done with. He told Hinata to get up and brush himself off, apologising under his breath as he took the stool to the corner of the bathroom. Hinata went to get up, to pat down his legs and shoulders and caught his reflection in the mirror. As he looked at the rather uneven job on his head, he sighed heavily. 

“It’s going to perfectly fine.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chisato dragged her feet across the threshold of her home, barely mumbling a quick “tadaima” before stumbling into the kitchen. There on the table was a bowl of ramen just sitting on the table, steam still lifting off the food and waving into the air, bringing the smell of cooked vegetables and noodles to her.

“Oh, hello Hinata-san. I made dinner and thought you’d like some too, so I made extra.” Kageyama bowed from next to the fridge, still as rigid as the day she first met him.

“Kageyama-kun, you made this? This isn’t that instant stuff either is it?” The woman dropped onto the kitchen chair just as heavily as her son did with the stool in the bathroom, her eyes blown wide at the sight of a fresh meal that was still hot on her table.

“Yeah, I made it, I used some of your vegetables though, I’m sorry, I’ll replace them,” He avoided eye contact with Hinata’s mother, instead choosing to awkwardly shuffle from foot to foot and cast his eyes away at the ground.

“Nonsense, they were bound to go off at some point, I really haven’t had the chance to use them, so thank you I guess.” Chisato started slurping on her food, reveling in the taste of the meal. “I should probably tell them I’m home, give me sec.” As she got up to move, scraping her chair back Kageyama jumped, as he remembering something important.

“Hey, Hinata-san, I have a question. It’s about Shouyou and his birthday.”

“Okay…? What is it?” She slowly sat back down, looking at the teenager with a questioning look on her face. “What do you need?”

~~~

Chisato’s hands flew up to her mouth in shock, her hands wavering at the news. “You’d all really do that for him?”

“Well, it’s mostly coming from Suga’s followers, but we really want him to get through this and because there’s the treatment and it is available, it’s a waste to not be able to use it. The only problem is that it all has to go under your name because Shouyou is still under 16, so would you accept-”

“Fuck yes! Oh shit I mean, oh Jesus I’m sorry, ignore what I just said, but if this’ll make my son better than yes, please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So today I'm doing something different, it's called updating. Yeah so this is just over 3,000 words of literally nothing but I hope you enjoyed anyways! 
> 
> I think I'm gonna try update at least once a month, but that may be a little tricky with school and everything (I'm in year 11 in England and doing some of the most important exams I'll ever take this year.) but look forward to updates, as they will be rare.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you thought you wouldn't get a special gift from me? Well, you're reading the biggest Christmas fanatic's works and so happy freaking holidays my beautiful readers, enjoy my very special surprise chapter, from me to you.
> 
> Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, or have a great Sunday if you don't celebrate anything.

Okay, so spending his fifteenth birthday in hospital with a bald head and diagnosed with a life threatening illness was not what Hinata had originally planned; something more like paintball maybe? Yeah, paintball with the first years, maybe the whole team, but spending it in hospital while everyone stayed at practice? Yeah, not the birthday he planned.

Hinata pouted at this thought looking up at the plain ceiling, tapping his finger lightly against his legs, tapping out a tune he thought he long forgot. As the boredom took over, he found himself humming along, plucking the notes from the depth of his memory and bobbing his head. As he sat on the bed with not much to entertain him, he let his mind wander thinking of where he first heard the song; God, where was it? But before the burning question ate at his mind any further, the door clicked open and Hinata shot up almost instantly, half expecting the team to walk in but only to see Dr. Ryugazaki walk in, a small smile on his face.

“Did you think it was your friends?” He held the door open for the nurse who walked in, her red hair in a loose bun today, with some stray hairs falling loose and drifting down her neck. Hinata hummed in response and Rei laughed softly, “Sorry to disappoint. But don’t get too downtrodden, they’ll be here soon enough, it is your birthday after all.”

“Yeah, but they’re all at practice. I can’t really blame them really; we do have autumn preliminaries coming up. I just wish I could play too, I’d do anything to be on the court again.” Hinata sighed heavily and dropped back onto the cushions, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. In honesty he would do anything to play again, especially with the inter high games just around the corner, but he was sure he’d get an earful from anyone who saw him faint that day if he so much as opened the gym doors.

“It’s volleyball you play, correct?” Rei queried from his side of the room, taking notes from a machine giving out a steady beeping. Hinata nodded wildly, smiling brightly.

“Yeah, and the team’s so cool. We practice really hard everyday after school and even on weekends. I guess that’s what’s taking them so long today.” Hinata looked over to the side where his phone sat, undisturbed from the lack of texts or notifications. He pressed on the home button, screen illuminating at the action, showing the time: 15:47. Okay, maybe they weren’t taking their time; school had just finished only about half an hour ago.

Rei sighed, looking up from the machine and looking over at Hinata, the smile once again on his face. “Ah, I remember high school teams. The practice, the motivation, the winning. It was so much fun.” He smiled fondly at whatever memory had come to mind, eyes softening for a mere moment, and snapping back to reality at Hinatas surprised sound of shock.

“Uwoh! You were on a sports team? I for sure thought you’d be part of the chess club or something!” Hinata’s gaze was one of awe as he stared up at the doctor who in turned flinched, even ever so slightly at the comment. “What sport? Eh?”

Kou continued running checks on machines, taking notes down, adjusting switches amongst other procedures as her colleague started to boast of the team he was on in his high school years. They talked as the nurse finished her (and the rest of Reis) job and left with a bow, essentially pulling the doctor with her, muttering about immaturity and having a job. Just as the door clicked shut, leaving the room once again in a silence, Hinata prodded his phone again, screen illuminating to show off the time 15:56. It had only been nine minutes since he last checked it. He was bored, he was lonely, and it was his birthday. Great. His mind started to drift again, looking for something to fill his boredom. He picked up the phone, poking the home button to a once again empty screen but this time unlocked it, flipping the phone sideways as he opened up a game Kenma told him to download recently. The game itself was good, but at the moment Hinata wasn’t really up for the bright flashes and fast techno beat that came with it. He laid the phone down once more, but at the very moment it touched the hard platform, a deafening buzzing erupted from it. Pulling the phone up with eagerness over something finally happening, Hinata read the caller ID across the top of the screen reading “Bakageyama”. He answered the call instantly, voice chipper with excitement.

“Kageyama! Finally!”

“Huh? Never mind. I was just calling to say, we’ll all be at the hospital soon, we’ve decided to cut practice short by about an hour, so we’ll be there around six? Maybe seven?” Hinata deflated at this. That was ages away; he wanted to see everyone now, for crying out loud!

“You sure you can’t come any sooner?” 

“Dumbass, Inter-high preliminaries are soon! We love you and everything but-!”

“Hey! Kageyama, phrase it better, here give me the phone-” Kageyama had been cut off by Suga, angrily scolding him at his tone, presumably swatting him away as he took the phone. Hinata could even hear the smile he wore and the sigh Suga let escape at Kageyama’s approach to the apology. “-Hinata! Listen, we’ll be there as soon as possible, three hours at the very least though. Give us some time and we’ll be there before you know it okay? Happy birthday again, and see you soon!” 

“Right, yeah. See ya.”

Hinata heard giggling at Sugas last comment and hung up. It was probably just Tanaka and Noya doing something stupid. He started humming again, what else could he do now he knew he had three hours to fill? As he hummed, he thought about the call. Something seemed off but he couldn’t say exactly what it was; it sounded normal enough, just something about it was off. He lay back again, an action that took up most of his time at this point. He heard shuffling in the corridor, Kou again?

Ha, nope.

His door opened and stood there was the entire team.

Everyone.

Hinata’s hands flew up to his mouth in shock, his fingers slapping over his cheeks as he stared wide eyed at Yamaguchi standing at the front of the group, holding a cake out in front of him, “happy birthday Hinata” written across the top in a black icing, atop a bright orange fondant icing covering the entire cake. Everyone walked in slowly after him, singing “Happy Birthday” holding out presents and all donning comedic party hats. Hinata’s moments of boredom evaporated into nowhere instantly, disappearing without a trace into the happy atmosphere that now filled the bleak hospital room to the brim, threatening to spill out of the windows and spread across the courtyard the room looked out over, spreading to every inch of the building.

They all approached the bed, Yamaguchi the closest, almost sitting on the bed and as the song closed, everyone was cheering, wishing Hinata a happy birthday, telling him to blow out the candles he hadn’t noticed before. He now noticed a lot of things now, how everyone was smiling, even Kou and Rei in the doorway, laughing to themselves happily, how tears had found their way into his eyes, and how they spilled out of happiness and finally Suga. He was standing in the middle of the group; his camera held up to eye level and an envelope was tucked under his arm. Hinata looked directly at the lens of the camera and smiled. Simply smiled the biggest beam he could muster, his cheeks forcing his eyes shut with the size of his smile, more tears sliding down his face. 

“C’mon, blow out the candles, make a wish!” Yachi brought Hinata back down, smiling brightly at him. He looked down at the cake, taking note of everything about it that made him smile that little bit more; the delicately iced volleyballs decorating the sides, the Karasuno colours vividly contrasting against each other, the small number tens dotted around the top. Hinata screwed his eyes tight and blew out all the candles in one breath, repeating his wish in his head like a mantra:

Please let everyone continue being as happy as they are now. Please let everyone continue being as happy as they are now. 

Please.

He opened his eyes again to find everyone cheering, asking if his wish will come true. They all probably thought he’d wished to beat the cancer, and who could blame them? Here he was, sitting in hospital with a life threatening illness, and he wished for everyone else. Was it stupid? Probably. Would he take it back? Never. “Who wants cake?” He smiled, if it was still possible anymore.

Yamaguchi took the cake back, cutting it into twelve slices, both Asahi and Narita saying they were okay without a slice, then handing each neatly cut piece out on paper plates provided by Noya. The whole group was nothing but exclamations and chatter until they all started eating, all momentarily shock by the taste of pure bliss in their mouths.

“Oh my God! Your mother is an amazing cook!”

“Sweet mother of… this is the best damn thing I’ve ever had!”

“Kageyama’s dad made this didn’t he?” Hinata spoke up from the bed; his eyes landing on Kageyama, quietly munching at his own slice, flustering at everyone’s exclamations. “I remembered he’s the baker, your mum’s a cook.” 

“That is correct, but Yamaguchi and Yachi helped me decorate it. Thanks guys.” Yamaguchi and Yachi both lifted their slices up as if “cheers”-ing Kageyama while the room filled with sounds of disbelief at the Kageyama family being culinary geniuses and the decorating skills of the first years. The familiar conversations struck up again and before long, Nishinoya was thrusting a small box into his hands, a huge smile on his face, which Hinata happily mirrored.

“Presents!” Everyone agreed, nodding in unison, everyone picking up the small packages and cards they had with them. Suga nudged Hinata and with everyone distracted for the moment, he nodded towards his camera, which had been sitting on the side atop the mysterious envelope, silently recording the cake cutting and friendly chatter. Suga raised an eyebrow in an unspoken question, asking Hinata if it was okay to record him unwrapping his gifts. 

“Yeah, sure, I don’t mind!”

Hinata made quick work of the cards, reading through each one carefully, taking in the beautifully written birthday wishes and even looking up at Noya with wonder in his eyes when three 1000 yen notes dropped out of his card and glided gracefully to his lap. He mumbled about how it was fine, and how Noya really shouldn’t have, but he waved it off, saying how it was only 3000 yen, and that it really didn’t mean much. He also tore through the presents (most of which were related to volleyball, except the crow plush, or rather cushion, Yachi had bought), thanking each and every person in the room every time he neatly put away the remnants of the wrapping paper. Lastly came Suga’s ominous envelope, the same one he had tucked under his arm when he came in, and it stuck out from the rest because it didn’t look like a birthday card, or a get well soon letter, or anything fancy really, just a white envelope that caught his eye.

“This last one is from me, or rather my followers.” Suga had his hands clasping his camera, smiling sweetly as he handed the envelope over. It was made out to his mother, which made him to look up with a face riddled with confusion. “Just open it!”

Hinata looked around at the team, all smiling giddily and expectantly staring at him to just hurry up and open the bloody letter. With shaking hands Hinata opened the letter and found a neatly folded bank statement inside. He let the envelope drop to his lap and he slowly smoothed out the piece of paper. It all looked very official, but he managed to make out a few sentences with his unfocused vision.

“… Bank transfer…”

“…Success…”

“…Now in legal possession…”

“3,429,740 Japanese Yen.”

3,429,740 Japanese Yen. Almost 3.5 million Yen. Three and a half million?

“Suga…” He tried to speak, he really did, but the words stuck in his throat. He wanted to say no he couldn’t accept it, he wanted to say thank you, but the words jammed in his throat, stuck. “Suga…” He tried again.

“I made a video, a sort of PSA, if you will, and the response was overwhelming. Most donations were small, just a couple of hundred yen at most, but it seemed everyone donated something. The money is in your mothers’ possession as of now, and it’s for your chemo. We really want you to get better- Hinata?” 

Hinata had jumped up from his position on the bed and bounded over to Suga, tears streaming down his face out of happiness, eyes screwed up from the force of his smile and a vain attempt to try and stop the tears. He stopped just short of the third year and pulled him into a bone crushing hug (well as much of a bone crushing hug as he could muster coming form Hinata) and whispering weak thank you’s he hoped the microphone picked up. Suga passed the camera to Daichi, so he could return the hug and found himself tearing up too. He sniffed, as his nose became stuffy, small tears escaping his eyes as he returned the hug as comfortingly as he could, stroking Hinatas bald head. He chuckled at his thoughts and broke the silence surrounding them with a small laugh.

“Hinata, d’you know what I think?” Hinata looked up, tears of happiness still shimmering in his brown eyes, confusion apparent once more in his features.

“What?”

“I think that you suit being bald better than Tanaka.” The room erupted into laughter at this, Daichi panning over to see Tanaka clutching at his stomach with laughter. He was violently slamming his hand down onto Noya’s shoulder who in turn didn’t seem to notice. Hinata had pulled away with laughter too, wiping his eyes and looking over Tanaka nodded in agreement. 

“We’ll need more opinions on that, Tanaka, come here, let’s get a picture together!” Hinata bounced back over to the bed, beckoning his teammate over as Suga pulled out his phone and opened up the camera function. 

“Alright guys, strike a pose!” Suga smiled from behind his phone, taking a picture every time the two made a new (although all of them were equally ridiculous, Suga absolutely needed them on his phone) pose. By the time both boys had stopped playing around and started repeating the same positions, Suga had a total of twenty different pictures of them and was musing to himself while he swiped through them, showing his favourites to the rest of the team, promising to send them to everyone when he got home. “Oh my God!” He exclaimed quickly as he swiped to the last one with both Tanaka and Hinata with their hands shaped like guns pressed under their chins, pouting like some brooding movie stars, eyes narrowed as they both stared in opposite directions. “Oh my God guys please let me post this, it’s gold!” 

The room once again was enveloped in laughter as they all took in the pure silliness of the picture and both boys were nodding, encouraging Suga to post it, tears rolling down their face as they howled with pure laughter. 

That’s the thing about a person’s emotion, especially happiness; it’s infectious. However one person is feeling can affect every person in the room, and it can be expressed through many different ways like laughter, a smile or even just a softening of expressions. But the thing that sets happiness and joy apart from other feelings is just how pure it is. Seeing the joy in a persons eyes when they’ve truly found cloud nine and watching as unbridled glee etches itself into someone’s face as they laugh so hard they resemble nothing but the human embodiment of joy is enough to make even the grouchiest people crack a smile. 

Suga wiped at his eyes as he pressed against his phone screen, as he posted the photo of the two boys captioned “Who wore it better? Happy birthday Hinata! (≧▽≦) (He loved your gift btw guys! Thank you to everyone who donated!!!!!!!!!!!”. 

“Hey, Suga, I didn’t get a notification… You’re on push notifications for me, so why didn’t it go off?” Hinata asked off handedly, picking up his phone and checking it, eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh right! I’ve gotta unblock you!”

“You blocked me?”

“Yeah, I wanted to make some posts about the money, and wanted to keep it a surprise, so I blocked you…” Hinata shrugged in response, seeing it as a perfectly good reason. He looked down at his phone, now refreshing Suga’s page with a swipe of his thumb and howling with laughter at the picture once more, showing it to everyone and triggering the chain of laughter to pick up again.

As everyone came down from their laughter highs, clutching at their stomachs or wheezing heavily (most notably Hinata), Rei walked in, a small smile creeping over his lips as he looked around the room, taking in the teams laughter, even the seemingly stoic girl in the corner, chuckling behind her hand, eyes lit up with laughter. “Hello guys! Having fun I see?”

Hinata perked up at Rei’s appearance in the room and begged Suga to show him the picture, which he did with shaking hands. At the sight of the picture, Rei too started to laugh at the boy’s antics and read out the caption to the group. “Who wore it better?” Well if I were to say so myself, Shouyou. Yes, you definitely suit the look just a tad more.” 

The room once more began laughing, although subdued this time with the exhaustion of all the bouts of laughter from before. As quiet settled once more Rei spoke up again, still standing in the doorway, although it wasn’t out of choice; the room was filled with all these teenagers and a bed, not to mention all the machines surrounding said bed. 

Time flew past them and before they knew it, visiting hours were over. They had shared laughs and banter like food and the cake had been demolished like there were no tomorrow, but alas, all good things must come to an end. The team had begged and begged both Rei and Kou for an exception, but both adults sadly shook their heads, saying that rules were rules, and if they were caught, could both receive serious sanctions.

“But rules were meant to be broken!” Noya whined from his place on the bed, mustering his best attempt at puppy dog eyes, although that just proved to be a job left to Hinata, or Yamaguchi even. 

“Yes, maybe at school or in during club activities but this is a hospital, and our jobs are on the line. So, if you could please make your way out, that would be appreciated.” Rei argued his case politely, bowing as deeply as he could alongside the nurse who was propping the door open with her foot, and too bowing from just outside the doorway. 

“You can always visit tomorrow remember, please say your goodbyes, thank you.” 

After seeing the futility of arguing, the team filed out of the room, cheering happy birthday’s and quick byes until Yachi, who was at the tail end of the group stopped suddenly. “When are you coming back to school?”

“Oh, um, I think next week maybe?”

Yachi nodded, and left with a quick goodbye, her hair rippling as she turned to leave, bowing back at the doctors, apologising for staying as well.

Hinata still wore a huge smile from the day and stared out at the setting sun, filling the room with its orange glow, warm and welcoming. The suns warm glow bounced of every feature in the room, radiating its feeling of warmth against Hinatas face, seeping into his bones, the feeling mingling with his happiness. Maybe he’d do it, maybe he’d win. It’s not like he was known for giving up easily or going down without a good fight, so why would cancer be the exception, he’d just have to fight harder than he’d ever done before. This was a new wall, one he’d fly over with soaring wings and a smile on his face.

But this was cancer, not volleyball, and sadly there were harder battles to fight than battles of height.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna clear this up for you:
> 
> YES IT TOOK ME A FULL FUCKING MONTH JUST TO WRITE 2000 WORDS OF FUCKING FILLER BECAUSE I CANNOT STAND TIME SKIPS.
> 
> This entire chapter is just a filler that the story could honestly do without and I could just use a time skip, but I hate those and since in the story it's currently early July, and the next thing that happens is in late August, I couldn't bring myself to just time skip. It just took so long because I don't like writing boring chapters and so procrastinated like hell.
> 
> Enjoy this shit.

The building loomed over Hinata, towering and taunting with its stature. It was just school, why was it so, so scary? Every wall seemed to tease, every window seemed to glare and everything else sat uneasy surrounding Hinata. 

"I don't wanna do this..." He groaned to himself, not intending for Kageyama or Yachi to notice, but the low rumbling tones still rolled passed their ears loud enough to hear. 

"Hey, it'll be fine, it's just school, no one wants to be here any less than you do." Yachi walked up behind him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, rubbing it in reassurance and support shining in her eyes. 

"Yeah, 's not like anyone looks forward to school." Kageyama sighed, drawing up to his friends with his hands stuffed in his pockets and a scowl on his face. 

"Yes, but," Hinata started, "however much everyone else doesn't want to be here, no one else has cancer." 

"It'll be fine." Kageyama pushed Hinata through the doors and the smaller boy instantly shrunk in on himself, and with good reason. Stares from all angles hit the three as soon as they stepped over the threshold, questioning and piercing as the walked down the hall to their class. 

The stares only intensified when Hinata broke away from Kageyama and Yachi and turned into his own classroom, alone. Almost all the seats were filled, and so the creaking of the old door brought everyone's attention to him. He noticed how some classmates took a double take on his appearance, first looking over nonchalantly and without much interest before looking back over in shock, eyes widening in shock as they nodded over to him, his state a new topic of conversation. He'd expected this to happen, the stares, the pointing, the whispers, but God it was 8 o'clock in the morning, couldn't it wait?

Class started not a moment after Hinata sat down, and all eyes, including the teachers as she walked in, waving a handful of test papers that had been completed in Hinatas absence, were on him. He sat under the staring eyes, just wishing them to go away, to leave him alone.

He just wanted it all to go away.

******

The second years walked down the hallway talking loudly, their bags loosely slung over their shoulders. Popping their heads in and out of every classroom along the first year corridor, they received confused looks, for what could two (slightly intimidating) second years need with anyone in the first year classrooms? 

“Tsukishima!” Tanaka called from the doorway of class five, seemingly grabbing the attention of everyone but Tsukishima. “Hey Tsukishima, I’m talking to you-”

“I know, I was ignoring you, you know, like how if you don't pay attention to a dog it’ll go away?” He slipped his headphones off his head and turned to face Tanaka with a bored expression on his face- clearly they’d interrupted something extremely important: his alone time. “Anyway, what do you want?” 

Now that Tanaka had made his way across the classroom, he dropped unceremoniously onto the empty seat next to the blond, facing his bored expression with a look of curiosity on his own. “D’you know where Hinata is?”

Tsukishima sighed and put his headphones back on his head, reaching for his phone before replying, “Might want to check class two, there’s a commotion down there, just a hunch that it has something to do with him. Bye now, come back during business hours.” Playing a random song and leaning back in his seat, he side-eyed his senpai and watched as they left, making their way further down the corridor. Of course the commotion had something to do with Hinata, it’s not everyday one of you’re classmates walks into school with a shaved head and cancer.

Regardless, Tanaka and Nishinoya casually continued and only stopped their loud chatter upon arriving the group of people crowding the door to Hinata’s class. After stumbling through the mass of people and muttering apologies, their eyes wandered to the even bigger crowd of people surrounding the boy himself, along with a very uncomfortable looking Kageyama, Yachi and Yamaguchi who was awkwardly standing behind the three, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes darting everywhere except the bald head in front of him. As the two ebbed around random people intently listening to Hinata although he was just out of their vision, they picked up questions being thrown from all directions.

“Wait, so it is cancer?”

“If it’s cancer, are you dying?

“You’re dying?!”

Curious, although rather rude, questions filled the air surrounding the first years, new ones shooting off before Hinata could even open his mouth to reply.

“What type of cancer is it?”

“I’ve never known someone with cancer before, what’s it like?”

More questions fired as Tanaka and Noya finally broke through and saw at this point Hinata had just given up on answering anything, and had returned to his lunch, taking bites out of his sandwich with a look of annoyance etched into his features. His eyebrow seemed to be twitching and his eyes were closed with frustration as he took small, but very angry bites, of his lunch. Yamaguchi was the first to notice the two second years standing amongst the crowd, and called out to them, grabbing the attention of the others as they all looked up. 

“Senpai, thank god! Okay, we’re gonna go now, at least one of you guys have all the answers because I’ve had to sit through the same questions all day, so ask them. Leave us alone now bye-bye!” Hinata jumped up, grabbing his bag as well as Yamaguchi and Kageyama’s hands and dashed through the crowd of people, beckoning Tanaka and Noya to follow through. 

They all made it into the corridor and at that, all the first years sighed exasperatedly. Noya cleared his throat as he watched the crowd disperse and some cocky souls even attempt to follow them.

“So, um, is anyone gonna explain that?” They all continued walking down the hallway, Noya only getting the response of more tired, and maybe annoyed, sighs.

“I’ll explain once we get somewhere quiet.” Hinata chirped up with a tired voice from the front of the group, his eyes scanning the corridor for anywhere to eat in peace without being bombarded with questions about his newfound appearance. 

Deciding upon the roof, the six students settled against the stairwell, overlooking the shabby grey concrete on one side and the less than impressive housing district on the other. Because of these sights, not many people came up there, but under the warm summer sun a few misfit groups of friends were found, but nobody too noteworthy or obscenely interested in Hinatas head. 

As the group opened up their bags and various lunches, Noya asked again what the scene downstairs was all about. 

“Well,” Hinata started, “I walked into class this morning and the entire class, I mean everybody, just stopped talking and stared. Freaking stared, not even discretely or anything.” He munched on his sandwich; taking considerably bigger bites now he wasn’t surrounded by people he didn’t even know breaking their way into his personal business. “I could just tell they were itching to ask me about it but at our first break only a couple of people came up to me and that was fine because they were really polite about it. Like, they were like “is it okay if I ask?” or something like that but the moment the lunch bell rang, loads of people came up to me and were being really rude and blunt.” He sighed (again), his eyes fluttering closed with frustration, before continuing. “It was only a few at first, but they were still really rude, and then Yachi and Kageyama came and took the seats around me, thanks by the way, they would’ve swarmed me and never left otherwise. After that, more and more of them came and they just got really upfront, like, I had answered every question they had about three times at that point, and they were really rude and, just…” 

He trailed off, not needing to finish, as they had all been present to witness the complete bombardment of Hinatas personal life. Kageyama was the first to speak, clearing out his throat and reaching for his water, uncapping it and taking a sip before actually speaking. 

“Some people just have no self control.” The small group all laughed at the irony of his statement, small chuckles and giggles escaping them as they stifled their humour behind their hands. 

“That’s rich, coming from you!”

“Oh, shut it Hinata.”

They all shared friendly banter over the course of their lunch break, going over work Hinata had missed while he was “trapped” (like he said) in hospital and covering topics that otherwise had been overshadowed by his bombshell of news in the training camp.

“Wait, Noya, you’re bisexual?!” Hinata burst out as Noya casually stated his new found sexuality; yet one more topic they never got to cover around Hinata, with the sensitivity of his condition.

“Well, yeah.” Noya addressed it with an air of apathy, after all it wasn’t a big deal- at least it shouldn’t be, right?

“When did this happen?”

“Well, pretty much about when Kageyama freakin’ called me out on the bus down to Tokyo. Didn’t really have a choice after that, so I was gonna do it, come out I guess, for shits and giggles, get it over and done with y’know, and then you came along and boom! Cancer stole the show!” 

“Don’t say it like that… It makes it sound like a good thing…” Hinatas voice trailed off as he set down the remnants of his lunch back down. “And, well you know…” 

The air hung heavy around them at this, the tone dropping the temperature surrounding them freezing and guilty chills span up their spine. They sat in an uncomfortable silence, the gravity of the situation once again thumping into their minds, pushing them down with the harsh realization of just what was happening. The constant reminders of what was happening; the visits to the hospitals; Hinata’s bald head and the unending queries from intruding class mates served as nothing more than cruel pokes at their awareness of their mortality- and it was a disgusting thought.

“Well, um,” Tanaka cleared his throat in attempt to also clear the heavy air around them, “speaking of training camps, Kiyoko told Ennoshita to tell us guys to tell you that you need to come to practice so she can tell you about the week long camp that’s coming up in August. You worried everyone last time, might as well clear the air right? Let everyone know you’re still alive and kicking!” He punctuated his words in his last sentence with a quick punch to the space in front of him, an encouraging look on his face as he looked at Hinata, who in turn just looked back with a face contorted with- guilt?

“I can’t make it, sorry guys.” He avoided eye contact and packed up his trash from lunch.

“How can you know? It’s in August, who knows what you’ll be doing then?” Kageyama spoke up and stared incuriously at Hinata, who was now just shuffling awkwardly in his place, having run out of things from his lunch to put back in his bag. 

“Well think about it stupid,” Hinata started by staring right back at Kageyama, mirroring his expression, “how can I be in Tokyo and getting my two medically required sessions of chemo back in Miyagi at the same time?” 

“Oh,”

“Plus, what if something happens again? What would I do then?” Hinata finished off with a saddened sigh, pulling his backpack on at the sound of the lunch bell ringing somewhere in the building. “But don’t worry guys, I’ll definitely be at practice today,” He giggled slightly at the thought that entered his head, “and see what Daichi says about that!” 

And with that, he quietly left the small group, making his way downstairs, back to class. The others packed away their things and also made their way down the stairwell back to class, once again indulging in small talk as they too made their ways back to their classes.

*************

The day was spent in somber tones, the crowds seemingly taking the hint from Hinatas scene during lunch and eventually backing off throughout the rest of the day. Everything about the day was toned down after that; practice wasn’t as loud and exciting as he seemed to remember, and although it was fun to be once again playing with the team, he found himself being forced to sit out more than he liked, both by Daichi and the dizzy spells that clutched his head after a particularly long rally and the cycle home after somehow didn’t seem as grueling as it had been before, like the mountain itself was taking pity on him. 

Dropping his bike haphazardly against the wall outside his home and completely forgetting to lock it up at all, Shouyou rushed in through the front door, quickly muttering “tadaima” while slipping off his trainers before bolting into the kitchen, searching for something to eat. 

“I think not Shou, out of the fridge, dinner’s soon.” Chisato slammed the fridge shut and came into view as the door swung closed past Shouyou, a mock scowl on her face that soon melted into a wide smile as she opened her arms for a hug.

“Mum!” Hinata exclaimed in excitement, quickly returning the hug. “Why you home so early?”

Thanks to your little celebrity friend,” His mother pulled away from the hug and started toward the cupboard, pulling out frying pans amongst other utensils, “I could give in my notice last week, and now I’m back to just one job, so you know what that means?”

“More dinners?”

Chisato scoffed at her son, his grin infectious. “Always comes back to food with you, doesn’t it Shou? Always has and always will.” She sighed happily while she prepared the vegetables and threw them into the sizzling pan before her. “You’re not wrong though, so call your sister, I’m making donburi, should be done in around fifteen minutes.”

Shouyou bolted up the stairs to his sister’s room, stopping at the top only momentarily to catch his breath and stop the burst of dizziness that shook his head. It was nauseating, but nowhere near as severe as earlier in practice. He brushed off the feeling, yelling to his sister. “Natsu!” he called, “I’m back!”

“You’re home!” Natsu appeared from her bedroom, nothing but smiles (as if she could be anything but) and beaming at her older brother before bounding over to him. “Hello!” 

“Hiya, dinners in fifteen, wanna watch some T.V. ‘til then?” 

Natsu nodded excitedly and ran downstairs, throwing all regard for safety into the wind (just like her brother) and bolting around the corner into the kitchen, before ultimately throwing herself onto the couch and grabbing the remote, forcing her brother to sit through fifteen minutes of what he would call “mindless poop”. 

Before both children knew it, their mother was calling them in to the kitchen for dinner. They walked in, groaning about their rumbling stomachs, much to their mother’s amusement.

“I had two of the same children.” She giggled as she set the table, calling for them to help her. 

The family dug into the meal, sharing in friendly conversation that had been dearly missed in recent times and soon the conversation turned to Shouyou and the team. At this, he started shifting in his seat, uncomfortable with the topic, the talk with his friends from earlier surfacing in his mind. 

 

“Nii-chan!” Natsu called him back to the conversation, his mother and his sister looking at him expectantly, clearly waiting for an answer from him.

“Um- I’m sorry what?” He stuttered out, still not all quite there and with the conversation.

“I was just wondering if there was anything going on with your club, anything you know?” His mother asked once more, muttering about airheads. 

“Oh, um, not much really.” Shouyou replied weakly, still poking at his food. He figured as soon as the idea of heading back out to Tokyo was offered to him, he should try to bring it up early, it was always worth a shot, right? “Well, actually there is something coming up soon…”

“You’re not going back to Tokyo.” His mother snapped up from where she was sitting, her face stern as she rather comically pointed her chopsticks directly at her son accusingly. He stuttered in response, fumbling with his own chopsticks, noodles from his dinner still stuck between them until pointing them right back at his mum, yelling about telepathy.

“H-h-how did you know?!” 

Chisato sighed, returning to her almost finished meal. “I’m your mother.” She sated simply, “And you’re not going, you’ll just hurt yourself again, and al I want is for you to get better.” 

Shouyou considered fighting back, arguing his point but instead just returned to the rest of his dinner, pulling out his ace card. “Well, we’ll just ask Doctor Ryugazaki.”


	8. Sorry guys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't stress this enough: I'm sorry.

I hate it when writers do this: update a fic to tell you that they won't be updating. But here I am. 

So, just a message, I'm not going to be updating for, let's just say quite some time because of many reasons that I hope you'll read and take into consideration. 

Now, quite a few of these reasons round back to my mental stability and health and as stupid as it is to say this, I am crying as I write this because fuck. Fucking fucking fuck. 

Reason 1) I am in year 11 (aged 15) in the UK, so if you're from England then you understand what that means and why I'm so fucking fucked. However I do know a lot of you aren't from England so let me explain: in Year 11, students take some of the biggest exams they will ever take, their GCSE's. These exams decide whether or not a student can get into their desired sixth form/college and so a lot of pressure is put on students to get good grades. Now, I get alright grades (mostly B/C with a few A's sprinkled in) but for some god forsaken reason, my predicted grades are A*. This means my B's are nowhere near good enough apparently so there is almost too much pressure for me to handle at the moment and if you know me, I can't deal with pressure at all, instead I decide to cry and sleep and do jack shit about it. So there's that going against me. 

Reason 2) I am not mentally "all there". I refuse to believe I have depression because it is not medically diagnosed and the absolute last thing I want is to be one of those edgy teens on tumblr™. Because of this I just say I'm not mentally "all there" because with each and every passing day it's getting harder to 100% believe that I'm completely mentally healthy because no matter which way you look at it, having at the very least two breakdowns per week is not healthy. 

So with all of my "not there"-ness, I have lost a lot of motivation to do a lot of things, including writing. I love writing, believe me I do, it's just I've lost the motivation to get on with the story. It's been almost a year now since I began, and I'm nowhere near where I wanted to originally be at this time, and I get the feeling that a lot of my recent chapters have been "fillers" with not much content to them and that gets me down. Real down. I can promise the continuation of the story, don't worry, but I can't promise when I'll be picking it back up again. 

Reason 3 (OK so my best friend called just as I was beginning this, so a huge shoutout to her below and my cat cuddled with me so I'm not crying anymore)- Through the lack of motivation for this story, I began procrastinating by writing up chapters and ideas for other stories and AU's (approximately 12) so I've lost connection with this particular work in favour (yh I spell it that way) for other works and that's fucked up I guess. 

Ok I guess those are the biggest reasons (amongst smaller, stupid problems) and again, I'm really sorry about all of this, please put up with it for god knows how much longer. 

Shoutout time for the best human on the face of the earth: Bridget, my best friend. Around halfway through reason 3 she called me out of worry and let me scream my feelings down the phone until I stopped crying (a good 45 minutes) and that was great because I really needed to vent to someone else other than my mirror so for all of you who enjoy my story: go enjoy her art- @monsoon.arts on Instagram. 

This lil bean deserves all the followers she can get, so check her out, she draws mostly K-Pop related stuff but also profiles of random OC's and fanart and is honestly nothing but amazing in my eyes. 

So I'm not sure when this turned into a friend appreciation chapter of sorts but please understand my hiatus of sorts, and I hope you'll still be waiting when I come back, whenever that is. 

Sorry again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being hit by a car at this point doesn't seem to bad.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not okay, but if that's what we have to say to get through this, then Goddamn it, will we say it's fine until the very last day.

“Ultimately, I can’t control what you do or don’t do outside this hospital. I can really only advise, I’m a doctor, not a God.” Ryugazaki spoke calmly from the other side of the bed; jotting down notes all the while eyeing Hinata as he retched into a bedpan on the bed. 

Hinata glared at the pieces of paper on the side table, the doctor’s handwriting neatly written across the top, prescribing the disgusting medication he had recently been transferred to. His eyes burned into the notes and once again retched into pan, spitting out the vomit in his mouth. Wiping at his chin, he looked up at Ryugazaki, a tiny shimmer of hope barely glinting in his eyes.

“So I can go? To- to Tokyo?” 

“I wouldn’t advise doing so.” Ryugazaki finished his sentence and looked up at the two Hinatas sitting in the room, Chisato sighing in relief, a smile spreading across her face in victory, and her son, angrily spitting into the pan on his lap. “Logically thinking, the extra travel to take you down there, then back up is silly and in all honesty, the closer to the hospital, the better.”

“But you can’t control me, right?” 

“Shouyou, stop it, you’re not going.” Chisato smiled at the doctor, a wave of relief having washed over her. 

The doctor stood up after a painful retch from Shouyou and shifted his glasses, coughing awkwardly as he head towards the door. 

“Well, Shouyou, it sounds like you’re done, I’ll be going, now, you’re free to leave for now. You know when your next appointment is, just bring back the prescription slip and you will be good to go. Hinata-san, could I have a word with you outside?” He shuffled out, keeping the door propped open, inviting Chisato into the corridor. Hinata heard them talk, but couldn’t hear their clear conversation, just that his mother sounded angry, then conceded, walking back in with a clearly false smile, asking if he was ready to leave. 

****

The ride back to the house was spent in an uncomfortable silence, a sort that made Shouyou hate silence even more. How could he think he liked it? As his mother pulled into the driveway, he unbuckled his seatbelt and slid out of the car, waiting by the door. His mother opened the door in more silence, and they slowly made their way inside and no sooner had he taken off his shoes had Shouyou ran upstairs, fuming. He heard the door shut quietly behind him before slamming his room door shut.

He sat in silence, his head drowning in thoughts that fogged his vision. Breathing heavily, he grabbed at his head, gripping at his scalp, searching for anything to pull on as daunting remembrance slowly enveloped him. Letting his hands fall to his sides and feeling the dull thump of his wrist (that will bruise, he thought), he rocked his head back and choked on a sob. 

It wasn’t fair, why’d this have to happen? All he wanted was to live a normal, teenage life, with no hindrances (like fucking cancer) stopping him. He wanted to run, he wanted to jump, he wanted to go back to what it was before, but apparently that was too much.

He sat like that, curled up against his door with tears stinging his eyes until he heard faint calls of his name from the kitchen. Refusing to get up, he rubbed his eyes, and took a few deep breaths, composing himself before hearing his name being called once more. 

He made his way to the kitchen, making a beeline for the dinner table, Shouyou still fuming as they sat to eat, silence shrouding them. 

He angrily stabbed at the tofu in his bowl, and as the dull thunk of his chopsticks hitting the bottom of the bowl, Shouyou couldn't hold back anymore. His mother knew what was going on, and she refused to tell him. 

"Why don't you want me to go to Tokyo?" He was picking a fight and he knew it. He knew that every smile his mother put on for him was fake, that her glassy eyes weren't the summer allergies she claimed them to be. He had done his research, and he knew his mother was lying. 

"Shou, we've been over this. It's just safer for you to stay in Miyagi." Chisato's voice was even and her eyes downcast as she spoke. She didn't notice the way her sons glare bore into the top of her head, she didn't look at the way his fist clenched because if she did, she knew her wall wasn't going to last much longer. 

"Are you sure about that?" Shouyou snapped back without a moment’s hesitation. 

"Shouyou."

"Are you sure it's so I'm safer, or is it because you want to keep me all for yourself as I slowly die?" Shouyou's voice was clipped with anger, teeth gritting by the end of his sentence because he knew. "Mum, I want to go to Tokyo one last time before I'm put into intensive care or something stupid like that."

"Shouyou, what are you on about? You're not making any sense! Shou, I can promise that you won’t be put into the intensive care unit, everything will be okay." 

"No it won’t! I am making sense and you know it! I know you like to think I'm stupid, and yeah, I can't really blame you for that, but I'm observant. I have to be when I play and so I am with most things, and that includes my current state." Shouyou jumped up, his fists pushing down on the table as he spewed his rage. "Why are you keeping it from me?! Why are you saying it's fine when it's clearly not? I know it's getting worse, I know that I'm taking those God forsaken pills because the other way is making no god damn difference to my body, so why are you lying?" Staring at his mother across the table, Shouyou felt the back of his eyes start to burn with angry tears that threatened to fall. 

"Shouyou, please-!"

"I just wish you would tell me! I don't know how you must be feeling, 'cause I might die and while it may be pretty obvious, I'm not you so only God knows how you feel but listen mum- I'm freaking terrified." Shouyou let out an angry sigh, staring at his mother from across the table. She remained silent under his accusing gaze- he needed this, he needed to vent. 

"Mum! Answer me! Why don't you want me to go to Tokyo?" Tears brimmed in his eyes, glossing over his brown irises and pushing at the edge of his eyes, dangerously close to spilling as his emotions unraveled at the table. "Mum-"

"I don't want to lose you Shou. I don't want you to go because I'm scared. Imagine this for me, Shou: your child, one of your biggest and only joys in your life, being told that an illness known worldwide for killing is what might take away your joy. Imagine the pain- the fear- that I'm feeling-"

"Imagine being the one with that fucking illness!" Shouyou cut of his mother with a scream. His barriers broke and tears rolled down his cheeks with ease, not attempting to hold them back as he let his emotions flood into the room. "I'm sorry for swearing and all, but I'm terrified! I've never been more scared in my life because I might be told, every time I go to that god forsaken hospital, that I might only have a couple of months left!" 

"Shouyou-!" Chisato cut him off, trying to explain her side of the story; tears almost spilling from her eyes too as she stood up to look her son in the eye. "Shouyou, please listen to me-!"

"No! I don't care about what you have to say, because you're being selfish! Sure, I understand that you want to be with your son as much as possible while of this- this shit- goes down and our lives crumble around us," he was storming out of the room as his choked sobs echoed around them, his head hot with anger, "but as much as you want to be with me as much as possible, there are people I want to see as much as possible." 

Chisato stood, shaken, at the table. Their dinner lay before her, cooling despite the angry heat that sat heavily around her. Shouyou swiftly turned on his heel and started to head out of the kitchen, mumbling to himself and glaring into the ground as he strode towards his room. 

"Shouyou-!" She called out once more, a weak attempt to get her son back to her, a weak attempt at negotiation. 

"Not now mum." Shouyou's voice was tired, soft and resigned. The bite in his words had vanished, evaporated into thin air as he looked back with tired eyes and a half attempt at a half smile, resulting in nothing more than a sad twitch of his lips. "Just- just pick up Natsu from your friends house, and give me some time to think. I'm sorry." 

And with that he finally left the kitchen, leaving a thick silence in the air. All hope of a reconciliation was lost right now, Chisato knew that much. Resigning to her emotions, she let the tears she had tried so hard to keep back fall with no restraints and cleared away the bowls, sadly placing them in the fridge in hopes for a peace offering later. 

~~~

"Mummy," Natsu's voice was quiet in the back of the car as it rolled along on abandoned roads of the mountainous area, "are you okay?" 

"Hm?" Chisato looked up into the mirror, her unfocused eyes landing on Natsu sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest, absentmindedly chewing on her stuffed lion and staring out the window with a crestfallen expression. "Now why would you ask that sweetie?" 

Her falsely cheery chuckle filled the small space they sat in, and, even though it didn't come as a surprise to her, Natsu looked up and shook her head, seeing right through her mother's fake cheer. 

"You're not smiling as much today, when you're looking at the road, I can see you're sad. Why're you sad?" Her voice was filled with the childish naïvety towards the situation swallowing their lives. Her gaze fell to the outside scenery, repetitive flashing street lamps that flew past the window as her mother drove on pulling her into a sleepy trance. Her eyes started to tire out as the rhythmic roll of the tires lulled her into a sleep, her eyelids dropping as she waited for answer to her question. 

The quiet snoring in the back of the car added to the sounds swirling in Chisato’s head, distracting her from her thoughts. She knew why she was sad, she knew what was wrong, but that didn’t make it any easier to answer her daughter. It was one thing for her 16-year-old son to be going through this, but it was another thing for her 7-year-old daughter to have to deal with it too.

“I guess it’s because life isn’t fair, sweetie. You’ll have to take note on that I’m afraid.” She softly whispered more to herself than to Natsu, who was still sound asleep in the back. Her eyes drifted from the almost empty road to watch her daughter as her chest slowly rose and fell in time with her quiet snores. It really wasn’t fair.

~~

Chisato slowly opened the door with Natsu in her arms, sleeping soundly. Her orange hair stuck to her chubby cheeks, her breathing slow and rhythmic. Chisato quietly took her to her room before tucking her in, carefully brushing the hair out of her face and planting a kiss on her forehead- it really wasn’t fair that she had to deal with this, she was so young, and too pure. Flicking off the light as she walked of the dark room, she walked past Shouyou’s door, noticing him standing behind it, keeping it open just a crack, and looking out at his mother with glassy, puffy eyes and a tear stained face. 

“Goodnight, Shouyou.” She breathed out with a heavy sigh before starting towards her own room for an early night.

“Mum, wait.” Shouyou burst from his room and stood in the middle of the corridor, his hands shaking and his voice breaking. “Mum, I’m sorry- for earlier.” He looked down as his eyes began to sting and his vision began to blur. “I didn’t- I wasn’t-“ 

Before he could finish his sentence, Chisato had swept him up in a hug, pulling him close into her arms and kissing his head as he began to cry.

“Sweetie, it’s okay, you’re scared. I am too, it’s okay.” Her voice shook heavily throughout her sentence as her son hugged her back, crying into her shoulder. It wasn’t okay, it couldn’t be, but if that’s what she needed to believe to make sure her family would get through all of this, then godamn it, would she say that it was all going to be just fine. "Here, I thought about this in the car, you may not be able to play, but how about I take you down to Tokyo for a couple days between therapy, huh?" 

Shouyou looked up in disbelief, smiling at his mother as more tears fell.

"Yeah, your little rant earlier made quite the impact, but, honey- do expect some sort of punishment for swearing. Not under my roof, and especially not to me." She smiled, even when trying to be strict, she couldn't hold the warm feeling spreading across her heart as she watched her son smile at the news. She giggled at Shouyou, patting his shoulder as he sighed.

"Yeah, I saw that coming."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haHa hi guys yep I'm still very much not okay, it took me three months to write 2,000 words (not good in case you're wondering) BUT THE GOOD NEWS (finally) is that most (if not all) of my problems will be solved, or at the very least be lessened, within the next three months, why?
> 
> SCHOOL ENDS IN 2 MONTHS AND I GET A 9 WEEK HOLIDAY.
> 
> kinda upsetting how all of my problems relate back to education, huh?  
> ~  
> Also I've completely lost the plot of emotions for these characters because I didn't make a plan before I started to write way back in last April (FUCK IT'S BEEN A YEAR), so important message:
> 
> WRITE PLANS BEFORE ACTUALLY BEGINNING A FUCKING STORY.


	10. Chapter 10

The morning was quiet, the last of the summer cicadas chirping quietly in the trees surrounding Karasuno which were rustling slightly in the late summer breeze. Shuffling feet could be heard from sleepy ears and yawns spread throughout the group as they gathered by the rented bus. Ukai cleared his throat by the doors of the bus, wearily rubbing at his eyes and yawning loudly before speaking, triggering the group into echoing him.

“Right, so,” He began, “as you know, we are one man down, but until Hinata’s treatment is over, I just guess we’ll have to pick up the slack. Everyone ready to go?”

Quiet and disorientated groans of agreement rippled throughout the group as they shuffled with their bags and loaded onto the bus. Takeda started to drive once everyone was strapped in, all to tired to care about Ukai explaining what they were going to be doing once they got to Tokyo. Almost the whole team was out within a couple of minutes, the quiet town lulling them into unconsciousness with the bus’ rhythmic hum and the distant chirping of birds. Streetlights flashed past with bright shocks that went unseen and unfocused in bleary eyes, early risers with their porch lights flickering out as the sun rose above the mountains that overshadowed the town.

The teens were quiet, and any of those who were still awake by some miracle shifted uncomfortably in their seats, trying not to make noise and accidentally wake those next to them. Suga sat at the front of the bus, Daichi fast asleep on his shoulder. He was restless, his mind whirring since the moment he woke up. Looking out of the bus window, his hand propped under his chin, his eyes followed the lights flashing past as they slowly flickered out in the early morning rays of sunlight. Heaving out a defeated sigh, his gaze shifted to Daichi, happily snoring on his shoulder, content in his sleep. Slowly pulling his phone out of his pocket as no to disturb the boy on his side, Suga quickly opened his camera and took a quick picture, quickly cropping and editing it before opening his Instagram. He quickly scrolled through the posts he missed, liking and commenting and posted the picture.

“On our way to Tokyo o(*≧□≦)o missing you already Hinata, good luck with the chemo!!”

Suga turned off his phone and put it back in his pocket, fatigue finally taking effect on his tired body. Allowing himself to succumb to his drowsiness, he too joined the others in sleep.

* * *

 

In time, everyone on the bus was asleep, bar from Takeda who was still driving and surviving off his second travel mug of lukewarm coffee, and the team’s little bubble was thrust into silence once more. It didn’t take long to reach Tokyo after the team fell asleep, and Takeda pulled into the parking lot as the sun shone in the sky, the summer heat quietly dying down as autumn prepared to rear it’s breezy head.

Announcing with a yawn that they were, the team started to stir, opening their eyes and painfully adjusting to the bright morning light streaming into the bus. They groggily grabbed their things and stretched once they hopped onto the sandy grit. Cramming eleven volleyball players onto a small bus was never a good idea, and only one seemed to walk free, no cramps hindering his movements.

“Ah, c’mon Asahi, it’s not that bad!” Noya cheered, cracking his knuckles, knees, elbows and every other joint that probably shouldn’t be able to crack so easily and filled seemingly with too much energy for someone who just woke up.

“Noya-“ Asahi groaned as he looked up from stretching out his legs’ “You don’t seem to understand that I am quite a lot taller than you, and so is everyone else here.” Grunting as he kicked out his legs in his final attempts to rid himself from the pains of being sat in the same curled position for four or so hours, Asahi turned to look at the rest of the team following suit with the stretches. Seeing his opportunity, Noya, took a running leap at Asahi, clambering onto his back and almost yelling directly in Asahi’s ear.

“If Shouyou was here, he’d agree with me!” He gleefully smiled, carefree as his gripped slipped and he dropped to the ground, his knees clicking when his feet collided with the fine gravel of the car park. He smiled up at Asahi for a second, before daunting realization pulled at the corners of Noya’s smile. “But, I guess he can’t be here, so-“

Picking up on the sudden and disheartening change in Noya’s attitude, Asahi placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, a weak attempt to cheer him up.

“Hey, he’ll be okay. He’s essentially a carbon copy of you, how many times has the kid fallen down and just gotten back up like any injury is water off a duck’s back?” He said with a warm smile, dispelling his thug like air, enticing a reaction from Noya was almost instant and a little (though not entirely) unexpected.

“Ha!” Noya laughed, his smile returning, “Asahi, just ‘cause you look like an old man, it doesn't mean you have to talk like one!” Noya laughed and jogged away back towards the others, leaving Asahi stock-still, stretching out the last of his fatigue.

A call from the other side of the parking lot distracted the team as they saw the Nekoma team make their way over to the van.

“Well if it isn’t the country bumpkins! Wow, you’re actually early this time, colour me surprised!” Kuroo smirked from his side of the parking lot, his snide comment earning a quick thump in the arm from Yaku.

“Ignore him,” he smiled at Daichi and Suga before throwing a look over his shoulder and looking back at the captain with a sigh, “for as long as possible, please.” His remark drew a laugh out of Suga as the three started talking about the next week, and the plans, as well as Karasuno’s little handicap.

“So, he had to stay in Miyagi so he was close to the hospital, so you understand right?” Daichi finished off his explanation with an apologetic smile on his lips, his hand awkwardly rubbing his neck. Yaku smiled right back at him, as if he were the captain, bearing Kuroo’s responsibility.

“Yeah, of course! God, it was a real shock y’know?”

Suga hummed in agreement, “Kenma told you guys right? Hinata’s phone was blowing up with messages from him when we went to visit- THAT BASTARD!” Suga interrupted himself an unnecessarily loud yell as he accusingly pointed at Kuroo as he made his way towards the rest of the team.

“Wait, what- what?” Daichi grabbed Suga’s should exasperatedly, looking at Kuroo with an expression of unadulterated confusion on his face.

“We’re supposed to be ignoring him! That bastard can’t ignore us!” Suga complained, irritation worn all over his face. At this, both Yaku and Daichi burst into laughter (and a smirk from Kuroo), infuriation Suga further.

Apparently it was a genuine complaint.

~

Across the car park, Kuroo let his smirk dissipate as he turned back to the Karasuno second years, still pulling out the last of the luggage from the bus; small items that had slipped from various bags; forgotten loose change that escaped the lining of spare clothes; keys and wallets strewn throughout other people’s loosened bags. “So, it’s true, huh?” He started.

“Sadly, yes,” Ennoshita replied, hauling the final bag over his shoulder, an uncomfortable look on his face as he turned and looked back at the Nekoma captain.

“So, that means-” Kuroo started.

“That means he’s not here this week, no.” Ennoshita replied, not breaking eye contact with Kuroo all the while. Kuroo shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot at this reply, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck and diverting his eyes to anywhere but the unrelenting stare from the second year.

“Well, I was, um- well I was more going down the root of- um, y’know-”

“It’s not terminal,” Narita popped up behind his friend, his bag hanging recklessly from his forehead and swinging behind him, carelessly hitting both Ennoshita and Kinoshita in the sides as he jumped in on the conversation, “well, at least not for now…” Ennoshita nudged his friend in the side at this, resulting in the bag to slip off his head and land with a thud on the floor. He hissed a warning from behind his teeth at his friend, diverting his unrelenting stare towards Narita instead. “Hey-!” Narita protested, grabbing the bag and slinging it over his shoulder with a defeated look. “Chikara, we both know it’s true- every time we see him, his smile is bigger but he doesn't look any healthier. It’s- it’s sad.” Narita sighed dejectedly, and averted his gaze down towards his feet, “I don’t want anything bad to happen…”

The thick tension that hung in the air stayed ever present throughout the rest of the conversation until Yaku finally dragged his captain away and back towards the gym to begin warm ups as the Karasuno team lugged their luggage to a part of the school assigned to them as dorms.

A heavy presence filled the air as the teams began warm ups and soon, practice matches, with the hard hitting confirmation of Hinata’s cancer resounded with them, sitting uncomfortably at the back of everyone’s minds as they tried to focus. As the routine thuds of volleyballs slapping skin as they made contact through a solid spike or an off receive, soon the constant, worrying thoughts of Hinata, be it from teammate or rival, faded, only to jump up at unexpected times, throwing anyone off their game for just a moment too long, causing the volleyball that was flying through the air only seconds ago to bounce with a resounding thud and whistle blow.

* * *

“Seriously?!” Hinata cried from his hospital bed, eyes lighting up with excitement. “Mum! Are you being serious right now?” His voice was lifted from joy as he practically lifted himself from the sheets with his happiness.

“Yes,” Chisato started, looking back at her son fondly, a warm smile gracing her lips, “but only for a few days, you still have to be back here for chemo by the end of the week.” She softly finished, laying her rules out in front of her, plain and clear. Her son almost leapt with joy at this, fists pumping the air, eyes screwed up with unadulterated happiness.

He slowed his celebrations after a few more pumps to the air, and looked at his mother again, a bright smile still etched among his features. “Does this mean I’m not grounded anymore?” He smiled, knowing he was pushing his luck.

“Of course not! The moment you get back your punishment continues, I won’t have you speaking like that in my house again, especially,” she eyed her son sternly at this, her entire demeanour shifting, “when your young, impressionable sister is just in the room over. You should know that won’t stand, and you’re only getting off with a punishment this light because, even I have to admit, your words did move me.” She smiled as Shouyou grinned to himself, “But,” she continued, “only slightly. I still remain a rock- unmovable.”

The two begin to laugh more, even as the doctors came in to take blood and run tests. Chisato held a smile for her family as she watched the blood being drawn from her son, the underlying sadness of seeing her son only wince at the needle, having become used to the process, amplified as she read the doctor’s facial expressions. Steely, as per usual. She had learnt to expertly decode and search their body language around her son ever since he was young and recently had become what could be considered a savant at searching for their meanings. She smiled falsely as she noted the way the corners of the doctor’s mouths shifted down at the sight of Shouyou’s charts; the way their shoulders jutted and shifted when she made eye contact with them; the way their eyes held a soft, pitiful shine as they glanced at the all too happy boy in the shitty hospital sheets.

She noticed it all, and could only come to cold conclusions.

* * *

 

They days of the training camp blurred by as the Karasuno team played match after match only to lose match after match with their handicapped team. The first two days held fights amongst first years and awkward shuffles between second years, not to mention the pitiful glances sent their way by the other teams. They hadn’t won a single match and as the heat started to get to them, the heard a whistle blow from the side of the court, a God send, they mutually agreed.

“Karasuno, first time out!” Ukai called from the bench. He stood up with Takeda and waited for the team to gather around, downing water and wiping the accumulated sweat off their foreheads. “Okay,” he started clapping his hands together, grabbing their attention. “So I know it’s hot and our morale is down, but you gotta remember that these are just practice games, and that every time we fail, we can look at it not as a set back, but a stepping stone to move forward.” He smiled out to the group, only to be met wit steely glares from the hot and bothered players.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Tsukishima spat out, clearly uncomfortable with the humidity of the air surrounding them. Ukai’s smile faltered at this, taken aback by the first year’s boldness.

“I- uh-” He stammered.

“It means use your mistakes to learn what to do next, idiot. It’s not a new concept, people have been using it for years- I thought you of all people-” Kageyama spat back, equally as venomous as the first statement before being cut off by another sharp whistle tweet.

“Time out over!” The teacher yelled from his position.

The team members passed their bottles back to Narita, Sugawara and Yachi and made their way back onto the court, quietly stewing about their circumstances. The three shared uncomfortable looks, all the while thankful for not being on the court in the midday heat. Yachi threw a look over her shoulder at Ukai and Takeda, who were deep in conversation, Ukai with his chin in his palms and Takeda smiling more than usual at the team as they watched Kenma throw a soft serve over the net.

“So today’s the day?” Ukai mumbled from behind his palms, wiping the sweat from his upper lip.

“Yep!” Takeda smiled, clutching his pad of paper and glancing down at the calendar of the week stuck messily on the front. “It says right here, circled in red and everything: ‘Surprise!’. I didn't want to write it specifically, see, in case someone saw it.” He spoke in hushed tones at this, leaning closer to Ukai to ensure he heard, and not a passing member.

“Smart.” Ukai chuckled. “Well, there couldn't be a better day, could there?”

“It’s a happy coincidence, even if they don't know it yet.” Takeda confirmed, a determined smile upon his face as he stood up and headed for the door. “The team really do look as if they need a pick-me-up if you will.” He stated faintly before picking up his phone and turning his pad over, walking towards the front of the building, ready to welcome the surprise in.  
He bristled with excitement, and his mother was pretty sure he hadn’t stopped moving since she told him about his special trip. He smiled from ear to ear as he watched the scenery slowly fade from the serene view of the trees and fields that whizzed passed the car window in under a second to high rise buildings that stuck with the car as the traffic slowly built up around them.

* * *

“We’re almost there, we’re almost there~!” Shouyou chanted as his mother chuckled, slowly following the blue line on her phone that reached and end just a few miles up. As she pulled up to a large school building and the robotic voice on the phone rang out a cool “You have reached your destination”, Shouyou’s smile somehow grew even brighter and he practically bolted out of the car, only stopping to pick up his rucksack from the back of the car. Accepting defeat before the chase even began, Chisato coolly slid out of the small car, leaning on the frame before shutting the door and locking the car. She made her way to the reception at the front of the school, shielding her eyes from the sun as she made out a figure walking towards them from inside the building.

“Sensei!” Shouyou called out, “I made it!” He laughed, he smile glowing brighter still.

Takeda laughed at his energy, it was refreshing to see a member of the team not dragged down by the heat. “You sure did!” he laughed.

“Ah, sensei!” Chisato called from a little over halfway across the car park, “I must thank you again for making this possible.” She bowed slightly as she continued walking towards them, one arm reaching up to scratch her neck almost apologetically, the other still gripping her car keys.

“No problem! It’s only natural to see the whole team at a training camp, right?” Takeda laughed rhetorically, bowing back unnecessarily. The two quietly laughed about it some more before noticing Shouyou practically vibrating in his spot at the reception door.

“Ah, I guess you better get back to the team before Shou explodes, right?” Chisato joked, walking forward and having a friendly jab at her son’s side before pulling him into a hug and planting a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Be safe, Shou- I’ll know if you’re not.” She said softly, giving him a tight squeeze before letting him go. “I’ll see you around, Sensei!” She said, giving a quick wave, her car keys jingling as she did so.

“Ready to see the team, Hinata?” Takeda turned to face Hinata but the kid was already gone, running down the hallway at full speed, following the signs toward the gym surprisingly well as he bolted down corridor after corridor, in hopes of finally reaching his team again.

As he raced down the last corridor he could finally see the gym out of the windows and hear faint sounds that he missed dearly; the calls of teammates reassuring each other; the constant thuds of volleyballs coming into contact with skin and floor alike; shrill whistles signaling fouls, outs and ends of games. God he missed it, he missed it so much.

Feet and blood pounding alike as he reached the gym’s doors, he yanked them open, breathless as he took in the sights of the four school playing in two different matches. Not even allowing himself to catch his breath, he yelled,

“Did’ja miss me?!”

* * *

  
“Hey-” Suga planted a hand on Yachi’s shoulder, to which she naturally jumper at, startled, “don't worry- its just me,” he laughed, “I was just wondering- do you know where Takeda-sensei is going?” He looked at her, his eyes softened with curiosity.

“Uh- No, I don’t.” She stammered, her own brown eyes meeting his. Sugawara looked back at the door that he left out of, suspiciously eyeing it; he knew something was up, that much was for sure. He let it go, releasing Yachi with a warm smile and headed back towards the other players standing to the side of the court, cheering out weak words of encouragement that fell upon deaf ears.

The team played some more, going all out, yet only securing a few points for their own. Their sloppy receives and weak blocks held no match for the Nekoma team on the opposite side of the net, accustomed to the heat and holding up like a well-linked chain. The weak yells and whistle blows that echoed around the gym fell quiet for a second, with no explanation why, the loud, resonating noise falling to a simmer, only a faint cheer of assurance or a quick shout from the winning team remained as the door burst open, revealing an all too familiar figure standing at the entrance.

Only Suga noticed, as he dumbfoundedly stared at the small boy in the doorway, breathing heavily. “Hinata-” He started, only to be cut off by the boy himself, who was unsurprisingly, as loud as ever.

“Did’ja miss me?!” He yelled, a broad smile gracing his features as a volleyball made it’s way to the floor, all eyes no longer caring about the match, but rather the boy in the doorway, an orange bandana wrapped around his head as pitiful replacement of the bright orange fluff that should be ther, sitting a mess upon his head.

He smiled broadly, all attention on him before shouts and screams of surprise and happiness erupted from the Karasuno team, and even some from the Nekoma team.

They needed this pick-me-up, possibly Shouyou most of all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHA FUCK I'M BACK DID'JA MISS ME?
> 
> HOLY SHIT THIS TOOK TOO LONG AND BOY DO I HAVE NO MOTIVATION LEFT WHAT A DOOZY I AM DEPRESSED AS FUCK RIGHT NOW AND WHO KNOW I MIGHT JUST RUSH THIS ENDING BECAUSE FUCK IT I DON'T LIKE THE STORY BUT I CAN'T LEAVE IT UNFINISHED BECAUSE I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO MUCH TO DO THAT BUT I ALSO KNOW I CAN'T WORK ON TWO THINGS AT ONCE DO YOU SEE THE PROBLEM?
> 
> Anyway~ I hope you enjoyed that, it wasn't exactly what I had planned for the chapter, I personally wanted to add a few more scenes but I couldn't do that, so I'll jut cram 'em into the next chapters.
> 
> Now, remember about a year ago when I said chapters should be updated monthly? Yeah fuck that right- God knows when the next chapter will be out.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like it if you dropped a kudos, it makes my day just that lil' bit better, and a huge thank you to the kind souls who leave such nice comments, my heart goes out to you, I hope y'all have a nice day~!


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